What Definition of Success Do You Mean, Exactly?

Success is an easy word to throw around. If you ask anyone if they would like to be successful, you are more than likely to get a “yes, of course!” type of response. I mean who doesn’t want to be?

Some people say they are working to be more successful. But how many people actually think about what it really means to be successful? How they will know when they are? In my work, there are often times that people are in fact quite successful, but since the yardstick they measure by is unclear or ill formed, they don’t even know it.

There are a couple of ways Webster defines the word “success”. The definition that makes the most sense to me is: “favorable or desired outcome” as opposed to what I think most other people’s assumed definition is. That definition runs much closer to: “the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence”.

I will tell you why I think the first definition is much more useful and empowering so we can get past a potential “let’s agree to disagree” type of conclusion from my statement saying I prefer it. The first definition is geared to having things show up in the world that are in alignment with what makes sense for you as an individual person. While the principal of being internally and externally aligned is universal, how that alignment shows up for you is completely unique. There is no way someone else can tell you, you just “know” it.

The first definition allows for a much, much greater a variety of outcomes. Those outcomes are internally referenced measurements, such as being very successful at staying calm in chaotic situations or staying focused on what is most important to you, even when outside circumstances may not be going your way. There is no reliance on the outside world to validate whether or not you are successful or not. Success stops being an end point and become an experience you have during the whole journey or task.

So you can remain calm, doing everything you can to achieve a particular outcome, and if the outcome turns out different than the one you set out to achieve, you can take it as data, information which you can use to adjust what you are doing and adjust. Since your measure of success is defined by the ability to remain calm, you’ve achieved a favorable outcome already- you’ve been successful the whole time. The idea of “failing” doesn’t exist. You are simply receiving feedback that there is an adjustment that needs to be made somewhere.

I’d like to leave you with one final thought here. You may already know that a plane flying from let’s say, Los Angeles, Ca to Honolulu, Hi is off course most of the time. But it has a pilot that knows where it needs to end up and continually adjusts the trajectory of the plane so it ends up where it set out to go. It’s good that the pilot does not have an existential crisis every time it notices it is off course.