What Is Stopping You From Living Your Dream?

By Lance Heft

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The answer could very well be YOUR behavior. Each year, many people plan and set goals, and year after year things end up the same for a vast majority of individuals. The goals and visions remain as just that with no major changes to support these dreams.

Mistakes need to be examined and used as tools for change. It makes no difference whether the goal is changing behavior in relationships, diet changes, healthy living, or a major career change.

Making major, or even minor life changes, can be compared to an endurance race. Have you ever wondered what it's like to train for professional sports, professional dance, or even amateur endurance races? You've heard the saying, "No pain, no gain."

The most famous modern era Olympic story that took place at the Mexico City Olympics in 1968 always stands out in my mind as a classic example of supreme endurance. John Stephen Akhwari of Tanzania, who started the Olympic marathon with all the other runners, crossed the finish line bandaged, bloody, badly limping and alone. To everyone's amazement, his timing was over an hour earlier than expected.

When he was asked how he accomplished this incredible feat, a surprised Akhwari responded: My country did not send me 5,000 miles to Mexico City to start the race. They sent me 5,000 miles to finish.

The classic endurance displayed by the great, Michael Jordan is beyond inspiring. He said,

"My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength. My body could stand the crutches but my mind couldn't stand the sideline.

"I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games, and 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

On this note, a word of caution to any parents who might be reading this article. The wisdom contained in Jordan's beliefs does not give you a license to push your kids into athletics, dance, or a profession because it's always been a dream of yours...it has to be their dream, not yours. And, whatever the activity, it should be fun.

Many years ago when I took a management course, it was filled with great information. The one tip that I want to share applies to correcting your kids, your employees, or anyone in your life. It's called the CCC approach -- Compliment, Criticism, Compliment. For example, "You were great and your swing was perfect. We just have to work a little on your running speed. I'm so proud of you!" CCC works every time, even with the big "kids" in your life.

One of the main reasons that lead me to develop the "Your Turn To Win" program is that throughout my life I've witnessed patterns with peopleemployees, friends, associates many of whom unknowingly repeat the same negative patterns over and over. I began to see this central struggle with people who were trying to achieve goals. Any goal can be achieved if you keep four main elements as your guide -- desire, commitment, responsibility and outlook. These four things have been instrumental in building the life I enjoy and I use them everyday.

Making career or life changes will never be a smooth process, but the responses of people who fail, or make mistakes can be critical. I've seen people so down on themselves that they feel worthless because of failure. That's why I cite the examples of Michael Jordan. Mistakes, or failures never stopped him, they made him stronger.

Failure is a major problem for some people who view mistakes and failures as absolutes. Failure can be a learning experience. Hard work, persistence, and effort are part of the formula but, one of the surest ways to success and happiness is recognizing what gets in your way on the journey towards those things. We cover these points in detail with step by step guides and exercises in the "Your Turn To Win" program.

Several years ago, I helped a young woman who was on her way to becoming a doctor. I received a call from when she was close to finishing her education. I was happy to hear from her, but saddened to learn that she was so unhappy, she wanted to quit med school. She had finally realized that her real ambition was dancing and she wanted to leave school immediately.

I asked her to meet with me and to wait before making any major decisions. During our sessions, I helped her examine her goals, realize that she had made a commitment, and recognize that she had many thousands of dollars worth of educational debt that would have to be paid.

There was also the issue of paying off her educational debt on a dancer's salary that is not always the most secure way of making a living. I then gently suggested that she could still have a career in medicine and realize her desires as a dancer.

Because this vibrant young woman finished her education, she was able to secure a high paying job with a major pharmaceutical company. She is now able to fulfill her dancing aspirations during the evening and on weekends. She has it all -- security, fantastic benefits and her dancing.

According to the latest trend reports, baby boomers won't have the luxury of retiring the way many of our parents did, and many of them don't really want to retire, but they'd like to pursue new options. In some cases, when people do retire, it isn't always the ideal choice. And, unfortunately, this realization doesn't always happen until after retirement.

According to our research, most people realize all of their retirement dreams within six months after retiring -- whether it's a trip to an exotic country, moving to a warmer climate, playing golf, tennis until you drop, sleeping until noon every day, or going back to college.

We had one client who retired at age 69 after working six days a week, 16 hours a day for over 40 years. His wife wanted to move to a warmer climate where they could relax and enjoy life. She thought they would travel and he wanted to play golf and bowl, but there were never any discussions about these details.

He was somewhat happy, but he missed his staff so he became CEO of the house, and the self-appointed maintenance chair for the three building condo. Once a month, he paid a visit to the manager with a mental list of things that needed to be fixed. Nothing was ever written down, it was all in his head after inspecting all three buildings. His wife was miserable and felt cheated.

We were very successful in helping them work out there issues once we were able to get them to open up and really discuss things. The hurt, frustration and the anger were also issues that we helped them deal with. He's golfing and bowling, but he's now the VP of their condo board, and yes, you guessed it -- the real maintenance chair. She's working part-time for a travel agent, giving travel seminars, and they're also traveling.

For some, retirement is great, but for others, it's disaster. Some people need redirection because nothing has to be written in stone.

My program can help you explore your passions, whatever they might be. Whether you're planning to change professions, retire, create a nonprofit foundation, or start your own business, my program can help you explore discover what you are capable of physically and mentally.

"Your Turn to Win" will teach you how to break out of that comfort level of familiarity and discover the power of vision, commitment and determination. My goal is to open your eyes to a new way of thinking; one that will inspire you to fulfill your deepest desires and share with the world your unique gifts.

I am living proof that people can accomplish anything in life they desire. this is the way I have lived and continue to live my life on a daily basis. I don't buy that somehow I'm different from others because I'm not. I did not come from a privileged background, but I know the meaning of hard work. There is no reason that others cannot do what the son of a steel worker and secretary could do. I firmly believe that people can accomplish their goals, the same way I did.

It is never too late to start a new project, profession, or direction. I have been passionate about many things in my life, and my mission is to share my unique and effective methods for life change and empower others to realize their full potential and create a more fulfilling life.

Trust in the belief that you can and will accomplish your dreams. Don't be the one who's stopping YOU.

Visit Lance Heft on the web: www.lanceheft.com

Author's Bio:

Lance Heft was born the son of a steelworker in a small Pennsylvania blue-collar town. Redheaded, freckle-faced, different, and tenacious from day one, he had a passion for helping others and a love for being a leader and entrepreneur.

Early on, Lance thrived on business; at the age of seven, he began to make money collecting newspapers in his little red wagon and recycling them for profit. In the fourth grade, Louise Shingler Zulick, his all-time favorite teacher, saw a light in Lance that she thought was special and encouraged him to continue to be his own person.

She wrote the inspirational words of William Shakespeare, “To thine own self be true,” on his report card, as well as a comment that Lance had helped her be true to herself also. This was a pivotal moment for both of them. From that day on, Lance used these powerful words as a guide for his life.

Lance was driven to finish high school a year early and did so by taking night classes at a local college. He began several businesses during the last two years of high school and ran them between his classes. Upon graduation, he set his sights on the prestigious Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas. His upbringing was quite different from other SMU students, most of whom came from wealthy and privileged backgrounds. Yet, he shared an important trait with his affluent peers: a “go-for-it” attitude.

At SMU, he became friendly with the son of an oil refinery president, who saw Lance’s potential and later offered him a position. Learning the oil trade took Lance to Paris, Kuwait, and London, where he lived for a time, and nurtured a love for travel. As Lance experienced the world outside of his small-town beginnings, his dreams grew as did his business knowledge and sense.

In the following years, he built many successful business ventures in real estate development, mortgage brokering, ski tour operation, retail, stock trading, construction/building, and two restaurants. He opened several lucrative boutiques importing handbags from Italy. The challenge of making each business a success was clearly his passion.

Today Lance heads a thriving medical device company in Pennsylvania; he is a member of the Society of Industry Leaders in this field.

Lance became a life strategist out of a desire to help others to maximize their true potential. Even as a child, he was known as the one to go to for advice on how to do anything, and those close to him call him “the fixer” because of his ability to resolve problems. He felt a strong desire to share with others his life principles and the tried-and-true tools that have helped him build a life of success on all levels.

His greatest joy is in helping others find their passions and put those passions to work in their life. His most recent solution-based program, Your Turn to Win: Getting on the Straight Road to the Life You Desire, is a book/CD package that reveals the action steps for others to design the life of their dreams. It is unique in that it addresses the whys of failure while focusing on solutions and actions. The program was developed from the real-life steps that Lance has always followed to create his winning life. Once learned, the program can help you accomplish anything you want in your life such as a new business, career change, better relationships, financial freedom, happiness, or better health.

Every day Lance follows the words of Louise Shingler Zulick—“To thine own self be true”—and, recently, he found a way to honor his beloved teacher. Mrs. Zulick is a breast cancer survivor. So Lance has established the “Your Turn to Win” endowment for the American Cancer Society as a tribute to this amazing and influential woman and teacher. Lance continues to give back in any way he can, sharing his wisdom and many gifts with the world. He is an ordinary person—who has taken his life to extraordinary places. He dedicates his life to showing others the way.

At forty, he no longer merely wants to see his own reflection in the mirror, he longs to see the positive change he can reflect in others. This is his life mission now.

Lance and his wife of fourteen years, Heather, enjoy traveling and have traveled together throughout the Caribbean, Europe, and South America. For every birthday, Heather has given Lance the gift of an experience or adventure. He has learned to sky dive, became certified in scuba diving, achieved his pilot’s license, and learned how to sail and hang glide. The father of two beautiful daughters, he can’t wait to show them our amazing world.

The Heft family lives in the idyllic countryside of Pennsylvania in the dream house that Lance built for the family.