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What Motivates You?
By
Bill Riedler |
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For many of us, while growing up, our parents held the responsibility of providing our
motivation. All we had to do was say, ”I'm bored.” And our parents would jump into action to
do the job of making sure our life was satisfying. Now, the downside is that in order to handle
this responsibility for us, our parents would have to tell us what to do. Of course, as we
started to reach our teen years we started to feel the pressures of society demanding that we
grow up. In an attempt to meet this demand without giving up the luxury of not being
responsible, we falsely concluded that we needed to prove that no one could tell us what to
do. Our mistaken idea of maturity was that we would become adults as soon as we could
prove that no one else was the boss.
That mistake led many of us into making another mistake. We concluded that love meant
keeping people concerned with us. We would frequently say “No” whenever someone would
tell us to do what was good for us. We made many of our decisions based on enjoying the
pseudo power that comes from resisting. Few decisions were made based upon
consideration of what was truly in our best interest − they were based on what we could get
away with.
Self Motivation Test
Based on these mistaken assumptions, many of us never learned to take on the job of
motivating ourselves. How can you tell if you are suffering from that mistake? Here is a test:
1. Can you think of a time when you had the feeling that others were discouraging you?
2. Can you think of a time when you said, “I would have been able to accomplish my
objective if only he or she had not . . .”?
3. Can you think of times when you say, “I'm bored”?
4. Can you think of times when you say, “I feel that you are being too pushy”?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, it is an indication that your life could be
improved by accepting more responsibility for motivating yourself. You are probably leaning
on others and allowing them to hold that responsibility.
How To Use Your Test Results
In question #1, why do you expect that it is someone else's job to make sure you stay
motivated? Take on that job yourself. When someone does something to encourage you, you
will appreciate it more because you are not dependent upon it. You will be standing on your
own two feet.
If you answered yes to question #2, you are lacking in determination to accomplish your
goals. To be effective, you need to strengthen your character so that you can stick to a task
even when other people are interfering. Developing this ability will take some training but it is
well worth the effort. The early warning sign that lets you know when you are preparing to
quit is feeling frustrated. When you notice that you are creating a feeling of frustration, do
something to motivate yourself. For example, search your memory for three occasions when
you did not give up and it resulted in a wonderful outcome.
If, as in question #3, you are saying that you are bored, you need to take on the job of
making your own life interesting. Don't expect that anyone else be obligated to do that job for
© Global Relationship Centers, Inc. 2007
you. “I'm bored” usually means, “I am not participating fully.” To be responsible for your own
motivation you need to ask yourself, “What do I need to do to develop more interest?”
And, as stated in question #4, if you feel others are pushy it is probably a symptom that you
are more concerned with proving that others cannot control you. You have probably not
developed the habit of asking yourself, “What is in MY best interest?” Ask yourself, “Why do
they need to push me? Is it because I am standing still and not going anywhere on my own
initiative?”
What would you do differently if you took on full responsibility for maintaining your own
motivation? Would you read encouraging books every morning? Would you stop going to
scary movies? Would you start noticing whether your tone of voice has a quality of possibility
instead of a tone of impossibility? I suggest you add ten more things to this list right now, and
start being responsible for your own motivation today.
Author's Bio
Founder, Global Relationship Centers, Inc.
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