Have you ever been asked the question, “What’s your aim in life?”
Have you ever understood what the person asking the question meant?
It’s quite a powerful question because it is a pretty direct and incisive way to ascertain what your purpose in life is and what you aim to achieve as a goal.
For most people it is quite challenging to define one’s life with a single answer, especially since the first time you hear a question like this you may be only ten or fifteen years old.
The first time I heard this question I was twelve years old and was asked this by my mathematics teacher. I replied, “Sorry sir, I don’t quite understand the question.” At which point he retorted, “Are you stupid boy? What do you want to do when you grow up?”
Clearly to my old maths teacher the question was all about what career path you wish to follow when you get older, probably because that was important to him. Recently I heard the same question posed to a colleague of mine. She elicited a whole list of goals and “wants” for the coming years, so in her case the question was about achievement through goal attainment.
At this point, I decided to take this questioning further and to break down the question further to create a better understanding. What I created has become know as the “Lodhia Model”. Take a piece of paper and pen and follow this through to see what comes up for you.
What is your AIM in life? Or should I say what is your :
Motion through emotion, in life?
Right now, what is your Awareness?
Right now, what are your Intentions?
Right now, what is your Motion through emotion?
“What?”, I hear you say. Let’s take each of these in turn so I can explain.
What Is Your Awareness?
They say awareness changes everything, and only when you become aware can you change anything. So, start to pay attention to everything. What I mean by this is pay 100% attention to everything around you and start to notice what you notice. Your awareness will give you very specific clues as to where you are in life right now. If you don’t pay attention, the clues may come like feathers, like a brick or even a truck. But if you pay attention right now in this moment, be honest, what is your awareness telling you right now?
Does answering the question make you feel quite tense or more relaxed?
If it makes you feel tense, is it possible that your awareness is telling you to dig deeper? Or maybe to be more honest with yourself?
When you truly listen to your awareness, you may notice that you feel more relaxed throughout the body. Even your mind may become quieter over time. The key is to pay attention 100%.
So, may I ask you as you listen to your awareness, where are you at right now in life?
Remember there is no right or wrong answer; this is just what you perceive right now, so just allow yourself to be as specific as you want.
What Are Your Intentions?
Before I launch into intention, which I believe is a whole topic of study in itself, may I ask you this question:
What is the difference between ‘want’ and ‘intention’?
Would you care to try an exercise to help illustrate the difference?
WANTS AND INTENTIONS
Take a piece of paper and a pen. Divide the piece of paper in to two columns. In the left hand column write “Wants” and write down everything you want in life. Be as extravagant as you like. Imagine it’s your birthday and really go for it! Now in the right column write “Intentions” and write down all the things that you intend to do.
Once you have finished, notice the difference between the two columns. What do you notice?
You may find that the list on the right is much shorter and a lot more specific. This is because your conscious mind and subconscious mind have to work together to design an intention rather than to just dream up ideas. Your awareness now holds you to account on what you believe to be possible right now! Intentions also have to be in line with values and beliefs. This is why intentions are more powerful, even in language, try it. Say I want ………………… (fill in the gap), now say I intend to get ……………… (fill in the gap). Just notice the difference in your physiology and subconscious determination by making a small adjustment to a simple statement.
Try this exercise, make a list of all your intentions, every single one. Now go back and look at your awareness about each intention.
Is it truly what you intend? Be specific. Do the same process again until it is true for you. Then ask yourself: “What areas of my life will it impact? And how will it impact my life? Is this what I truly intend?” If it is not truly what you intend then go back and rewrite the intention and do the process again.
By doing this you are breathing life into every intention and translating it from possibility to reality by visualizing each context and area of your life which is affect by the result of your intention.
So, what are your intentions in life?
What is your Motion through emotion?
This is probably the most controversial and yet simple part of my approach. No human being will do anything unless it is emotionally charged. In other words: there is no motion without emotion. Let me clarify this. Imagine any goal you want in life; if you achieve it, what will that give you? And again what will that give you? And again what will that give you? In fact, if you keep asking that last question you will always get to an emotion. Everything that we do or that has us behave in a certain way is to do with emotion.
So look at all your intentions, imagine having achieved them, how will that make you feel?
So, why wait? Are you going to put in all that hard work and get to the goal to feel that emotion just for an instant? Then what?
My take on this is different from that of many others. Why not have that emotion all the way from the beginning? Why not have it from the point of awareness to the end when you complete your intention? Why not use that emotion as fuel for the journey to keep you going when you hit a sticky patch or a brick wall? In fact many of my clients have achieved breakthrough results in record time by using this method. So, what is the emotion you are looking to get from your result? How are you going to be being from day to day to make sure you evoke that emotion from within, right now?
In other words, who are you going to be in order to create the results of your intention?
We have looked at each component of the model in a very simple way. The model goes a lot deeper, but understanding the model is not the key here. How you can use this model to create breakthrough results in your life is what is important.
Putting the model back together.
When we follow the exercises we get the following:
o Where are you at, right now?
o Where do you intend to be?
o What fuel will you use to get there?
Notice that , so far, this model has no action or doing steps. It is all about planning and TAKING AIM! So you could say the original question “What is your aim in life?” is about planning intentional goals for life with the purpose of arriving at them in your own time and enjoying the journey. If you want to use the Lodhia Model to achieve goals there are just three steps after the planning and these are as follows:
1. Make a sequential list of actions to take and when by.
2. Just in case, prepare for the worst case scenarios and have contingency plans so you can stop worrying about the problems and then just focus on expecting the best outcomes without attachment.
3. GO FOR IT, take actions with integrity!
It can be just that simple and easy. What if I told you that you have a choice and you can choose to let it be easy, would you still do it?
I used to be a person who would set a goal for whatever reason but mainly because of the challenge. I would go head first into the project doing action after action, until I had achieved what I set out to achieve. What I found was that I was always emotionally drained and always felt tired. The feeling of achievement was never there. Yes, I accumulated all the material possessions I desired, but no, I didn’t feel fulfilled. I was never one for planning: I was a man of action!
Bullshit! I was someone who was running around achieving small goals so I could tick the box and say to myself that I was doing something with my life. It had to be a challenge and nearly wipe me out for me to get a sense of “I did” something.
After spending nearly ten years of my life chasing this idea and noticing that I had not moved any further on I decided to go back and take that long hard look at what my aim in life was! It was at that point I realised that all the clues were around me - Aha! Awareness! In fact about 90% of the goals I had achieved or was fighting to achieve were difficult because they went against my core values. This caused me all kinds of physical and emotional tensions and made the attainment of the goals even harder. This was because, as the laws of the universe dictated, I got exactly what I wanted. Now I get what I intend, because it is absolutely in line with my values and beliefs. That’s how it is with intentions.
Better still, I don’t have to wait for the intention to be fulfilled for me to feel that buzz of emotion. By choosing who I am being moment to moment, I get to feel that same buzz of emotion everyday without worrying if I achieve the intention or not. The amazing thing is that the more I detach from the intention the more I attract it!
Now I choose MASSIVE goals. I apply my model. I plan my route. I prepare for the worst and expect the best. Then I go for it! I now achieve massive breakthrough goals, bigger than I had ever dreamt possible and I do it with the least amount of effort.
But the best thing with this model is that, whether you achieve the intention or not, you get to live every moment in line with your values and have each moment filled with that sense of fulfilment. My aim in life is to teach every person who wishes to learn how to live in the now, moment by moment and have each moment be in line with their values and with fulfilment. That is my aim in life. I hope you will share yours with me too! Because of this technique the people I work with have become self-empowered; they set bigger goals and achieve them in shorter periods of time. This enables them to have more balanced and fulfilling lives and allows them invest back into society.
If you could achieve more by doing less, what would you give back?
“The soul is dyed the colour of its thoughts. Think only those things that are in line with your principles and bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny… it is the light that guides your way.”
Deepak Lodhia is the Director of Coaching for Prime Source
He originally qualified as a pharmacist and worked in the research sector with a multinational company and then in the retail sector. He discovered his skill in motivating people to excel in work performance and quickly became known as the person to go to for getting things done fast!
Deepak later qualified as a coach with the European Coaching Foundation. His numerous skills and qualifications include NLP, EFT and the Sedona Method and allow him to deliver results quickly and effectively. He is also a qualified firewalk instructor.
Deepak’s focuses on helping clients:
• Become self empowered
• Set and achieve bigger goals
• Remove blocks holding them back
• Start living the life of their dreams today
• The practical result is that clients:
o Achieve more than they thought themselves capable of
o Achieve their goals in less time
o Live more balanced and fulfilled lives
o Stand out from the crowd
Deepak was head hunted by Catalyst Coaching because he delivers results for his clients in a fast, effective manner and is passionate about helping people achieve more. His integrity and level of commitment are renowned amongst people fortunate to have him as their coach. He is known for challenging the ordinary to become extraordinary.
Deepak has a unique ability to open people’s minds so they think ‘outside the box’. He helps people put themselves back in the driving seat of their careers or lives. Deepak has real talent for seeing what is actually going on with people. His intuition and empathy set him apart from most coaches. His commitment to his clients is to support them and help them do whatever it takes to achieve the results they seek. The greatest tribute to Deepak’s uniqueness is the number of coaches he coaches. He truly is a Coach’s Coach!
Email Deepak: Deepak@catalyst-coaching.org