Where Did The Moments Of Our Life Go?
by Julius P. Bantigue

It’s hard to believe Christmas 2008 is almost here. I had my forty-fifth birthday last October and I spent a fair amount of time thinking of my life the past few decades and what the future will hold. That is if I live that long. During these contemplative times, the thoughts of could have, should have, would have ran the gamut of the mind. I can’t deny that regrets did not creep up and played a big part in my thoughts. They did. But at the same token, there were life experiences (both good and bad) that took the place of the could have, should have, would have, and made me realized that I didn’t live a bad life afterall.

Most of us spend too much time living in the past, and an equal amount of time of living in the future. Perhaps this is what keeps us anchored down in the rut of life. Whether it’s the shattered relationships, finances, dreams and hopes that continues to dominate our consciousness, or the endless renewal of vows to pursue our material goals that keeps most of us locked in the very rigid schedule of life, our thoughts and emotions are either on full reverse or in high speed, instead of just cruising along. “When I retire, this is what I’m going to do” or “I wished I could have done things differently…things would’ve turned out….,” are the common dialogue among aspiring retirees. When I look closely on how these people have lived their lives, which have been the same for the last few decades, with only a brief intermission or change in-between, I knew I didn’t want to follow in their footsteps. They’ve put their life on hold, while doing things that’s really not their own passion nor design–because it’s the popularly accepted way to live–and put their hope on living long enough so they could do what they really want to do someday. But what would happen if things don’t turn out the way you’ve planned them because life is so elusive and forever changing? Would it have been a lifetime wasted on dreaming and hoping? I supposed that could only be answered individually.

I’m currently in the United States, working as usual, to support my family in the Philippines. Relatives and friends think I’ve made a mistake because I gave up a life of stability, so I can move my family to the Philippines and exposed ourselves to all kinds of risks. Under normal circumstances, I’d probably accept what my critics are saying to be accurate. What fool would choose to live in harm’s way when he can play it safe? Then I examined the options. I could opt for stability of continuing our life in the United States, but my children will grow up not knowing their own culture, receive quality education, and a wholesome life experience. This is a choice that I couldn’t bear to live with, and I haven’t regretted my decision to move to the Philippines three years ago. If someone asked me today if I’d arrive at that same decision knowing what I know now. The answer will still be, yes.

I once worked with man named Sonny in the security industry in the United States. Sonny is a man in his early sixties who was still plugging away at work instead of getting himself ready for retirement. A man his age would normaly be looking forward to receiving social security benefits in a couple of years. But not Sonny. He seemed to have more zest for working than someone who was twenty years younger who couldn’t wait until they’ve stopped working. When I asked him when he plans to retire, I was dumbstruck by his response. “I don’t plan to retire. I’ve already done what I wanted to do when I was your age. Now I’m just working to keep up my energy so I won’t waste away and die”. He read my continued confusion and elaborated.

Sonny told me that he did the complete opposite of what most people in America were doing. Instead of waiting for his golden years to retire, he lives his life–along with his young family–as if he was already there. He passed off the chance of a career and got a job–any jobs, lived where he wanted to live, and did everything together with his family. He didn’t plant his family’s roots in one place (which is a popular practice among most people in America). Instead, Sonny and his family lived in different parts of the United States and Canada until his family decided that it was time to move again. He had worked every job imaginable from washing dishes to driving a truck, and not once did he let his numerous jobs defined him. I was impressed with Sonny’s account of his family’s life as nomads . He was, in all respect of the title, the quintessential adventurer.

How many people do we meet in our lifetime like Sonny, who are not afraid to break the supressing pattern of living in the past or in the future? Adventurers romance the moments of their present life, because that’s all they can truly say they have. Tomorrow doesn’t promise anything and the past is gone. All we really have is the present. If we learned to embrace the present, no matter how good or bad it may be, we’ll grow accustom to it and make the best of the moments that we do have. By living for the moments of our life, we’ll also forget the guilt of the past and develop the courage to face the possibilities of the future without having to live in either one. Till next time….


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