Most people who come to me for hypnotherapy have had enough of their specific issue and they are ready for a new approach. After years of trying various prescription drugs, talk therapy and other alternative remedies they still seem to have a difficult time changing their behavior. With hypnotherapy, a simple shift in the subconscious can do the trick, and I send them happily on their way. Unfortunately, there are times when nothing seems to work for them. Some people block results because they get a benefit from remaining in the status quo. This benefit is mostly unconscious, hidden deep inside working against them.
Whether you are looking to change dating patterns, lose weight or get a business off the ground, below are some of the hidden blocks that could delay or prevent success in any type of therapy. Since the subconscious mind is not logical, the conscious mind has a hard time discovering the culprit that is holding them back.
1. Conditioning and Habit – Humans are creatures of habit and resist change. Most people do not like to leave their comfort zone, even if the zone is filled will despair or sickness. Since we do not know the future, the mind makes predictions based on the past. If we did not have money, the relationship, the health or the body before, the mind has a hard time projecting something different into the future. We are scared of the unknown. The mind simply takes a copy of yesterday and inserts it into today. We get locked into a certain way of being that is hard to change. This subtle benefit of avoiding the challenge of change can be quite powerful in keeping us from our dreams.
2. Being the Victim - Some people are very comfortable in the “victim” role and love to complain to their family and friends about their life. If circumstances improved, they would lose the benefit of getting attention for their dramatic tales. Sadly, there are some people who get a thrill out of sharing their life drama around the water cooler at work. Why do you think the reality shows are so popular? It is easy to wallow in a bad situation and blame the world. To look inside honestly and accept the responsibility for your life takes true courage.
3. Preparation and Readiness – Some think they are ready to change but have not cleared the way completely for the transition to occur in their life. I find that most people who have done some previous forms of therapy easily shift behavior because they have done most of the foundation work. Some have more processing to do and the results may come slower. Building a firm foundation is critical for long-term success in any life change. By giving up too soon, they get the benefit of avoiding all the inner-work required to reach their goals. They are really not ready to roll up their sleeves and look under the hood of their subconscious.
4. Resentment of the Past – Although life is filled with ups and downs, some people tend to hang on to the past mistakes of others (parents, ex-spouses, or friendships) that keep them stuck in the past. The lack of forgiveness holds them hostage to the pain the person caused them. Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone “off the hook,” but it is letting go of the pain they are feeling toward that situation. As people hold on to hate, anger and resentment, they are sending out that feeling into the world to attract more of it to them. Being stuck in the past prevents them from having a wonderful, happy abundant life. They get a benefit from the suffering because they feel it proves that the other person ruined their life. I hear people tell me that they want the other person to suffer for what they had done. Unfortunately, the one who is in the most despair is the person holding the resentment.
5. The Love of Therapy – You may think this is funny or odd, but some people love to be in therapy. The benefit they get from holding on to their problems so they can continue to see their therapist or talk about themselves. Some people are really lonely and find their therapist is their only ally in the world. Getting better would mean no need for therapy and sometimes that is enough to keep them from completely reaching their goals.
There are other specific benefits that people get from avoiding change. Some payoffs that I uncovered in sessions shocked me and my clients! Once discovered and brought to conscious awareness, it is easier to start shifting in a new direction. The goal of hypnotherapy is to find and release those blocks so the path can be cleared for a new future. The depth of trance or technique used has little impact on the results. Even though hypnosis can seem magical, results are directly related to how ready the person is for a new experience. Not even the greatest hypnotist in the world can take away someone’s pain. The person has to be willing to let it go.
Debra Berndt, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Dating Expert and creator of The Dating Makeover. Hypnodeb.com is the fastest growing provider of self-hypnosis products. Debra has appeared internationally on radio and television promoting the power of the subconscious and self-hypnosis to attract true love.