Many people find it hard to understand why a woman would choose to stay in a marriage or a relationship with a man who has cheated on her, or who has a history of extramarital affairs.

Yet there are millions of women, who for various reasons, have chosen to stay with a cheating mate.

Reasons Women Stay with Cheating Men

Listed below are a few of the reasons why women choose to stay with a cheating spouse or significant other:

• Love
• Convenience
• Financial reasons
• Not willing to give up lifestyle
• Insufficient proof of infidelity
• For the sake of the children
• Fear of change
• Low self esteem
• Bad timing
• Thinking the cheater will change
• To achieve career goals
• Hoping counseling will help
• Fear of being alone
• Loyalty
• Religious beliefs
• Desire to keep the family intact
• Belief that it won’t happen again

These are not the only reasons women remain in relationships with cheaters. There are other reasons, too -- reasons that make sense only to the woman involved.

A Woman Shouldn’t Have to Explain

Having been a victim of infidelity myself, I feel that a woman should never have to explain or defend her decision to anyone (other than her children) as to why she has chosen to leave or to stay with a man who cheats.

Choosing to leave, or to stay with a cheating spouse or significant other is a very personal matter. Some women will make a spur the moment decision the minute they find out about the affair. And many times they may regret their choice. For other women, whether to stay or leave is a carefully thought-out decision in which many factors have been taken into consideration.

Well-wishing friends and family members are quick to tell w woman what they think she should do if her husband or boyfriend is having an affair. But it’s up to the woman to decide for herself what’s in her (and her children’s) best interests at the time. She is the one who has to live with the decision that’s made.

What NOT to Do When a Husband Cheats

While making the right decision is of the utmost importance, it’s more important to know what NOT to do.

Many women react blindly when they first find out about the affair. They let fear, anger, hurt, or a desire for revenge cause them to do things they may later regret.

Regardless of whether a woman ultimately decides to stay with the cheater or leave him, doing the wrong thing in the initial stages of discovery can actually make a bad situation worse. Rather than making a hasty, spur-of-the-moment decision, it’s best to take time to carefully think things through. It’s important for her to avoid making a mistake that can sabotage the course of action she eventually decides to take.

For some women, staying is the right decision. For other women, the right decision may be to leave. Each woman must make her own choice. The most.

FREE Tips on How to Avoid Making a Mistake

If your husband is having an extramarital affair and you want to avoid making a fatal mistake, get a copy of the free special report entitled 5 Things You SHOULDN'T Do If He’s Cheating on You. It covers five things a woman should avoid doing immediately after discovering that her cheating on her, and explains the reasons why. To get a free copy, e-mail with 5 things-sg in the subject line.

For more information on infidelity, cheating spouses, and extramarital affairs, visit or

Author's Bio: 

Infidelity expert, Ruth Houston is the founder of and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs which documents practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook.

Frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, Cosmopolitan, Chatelaine, Newsday,,,, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle and numerous other print and online media worldwide.

Ruth has also been a guest on The Today Show, CNN, Fox News, ABC News, NBC News, 1010WINS, Court TV Radio, BBC, CBC, and over 360 other radio and TV shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, the Caribbean, South America, Australia and New Zealand.

To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail

For more information, visit or