To solve the special problems that empaths have with SPOTTING narcissists and PROTECTING THEMSELVES from narcissists, let's begin with some definitions. (If you already know these definitions, scroll down to our fun examples of enabling "Pat the Narcissist.")
As an aura reader and empath empowerer, here's my perspective. A narcissist is someone who is chronically self-absorbed to a significant degree. To spot narcissists every time, you've got to read auras.
Narcissist patterns show in the heart chakra. Many other databanks in auras can help you spot narcissists, which is why aura reading is so necessary for anyone who is really determined to never be tricked again by a narcissist in nice-person's clothing.
For an aura reader, therefore, it can actually be easy to spot narcissists. Auras are the energy fields around people, full of information. Auras can't be faked. It's also easy to read them, once you find a teacher who is right for you.
Reading auras, it is extremely easy to tell if the person you're trying to profile is suffering in ways other than being a narcissist. He/she may only be self-absorbed temporarily. Or he/she may be a great choice for a friend, lover, or employer.
An empath is born with at least one trainable gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be other people. About 1 in 20 Americans was born as an empath. Until you become a skilled empath, it can be a big problem being "merely talented." Your whole life, you pick up pain belonging to others and it lodges right into your aura.
Other terms can be used as well, but one term that matters most for protecting yourself -- and to help you spot narcissist and protect yourself from them.
Are you a skilled empath?
Any empath can become skilled with my method of Empath Empowerment(TM), and this makes all the difference in the world if you must deal with a narcissist. (Or if you're in recovery from a narcissist, or you're trying to cope with an ongoing relationship with a narcissist spouse or child or parent.)
One more definition is important as we move into this discussion. Is an empath the same thing as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? Not all HSPs are empaths.
Dr. Elaine Aron estimates that the number of HSPs is perhaps 1 in 5, whereas the number for empaths is 1 in 20. HSPs are sensitive, reactive, even vulnerable. It is a way of being wired.
It is relatively easy for an HSP to learn self-acceptance, spot narcissists, deal effectively with a narcissist. The HSPs who really get clobbered are the unskilled empaths.
UNSKILLED EMPATHS AS ENABLERS
Here's the big problem with empaths, spotting narcissists, and having to deal with a narcissist. Enabling.
"Enabling" is often used in the context of alcoholics, rather than dealing with narcissists. Say that you live with "Pat," who is an alcoholic. Even a non-empath may be tempted to make excuses for him/her.
By hiding Pat's problem, an enabler unintentionally keeps Pat from hitting bottom. Often, hitting bottom is what alcoholics need to do before they can become motivated to change.
Well, what if Pat is a narcissist rather than an alcoholic? (Okay, some "lucky" people are both.)
Maybe you spot that Pat is a narcissist, and maybe you don't. Either way, if you are an empath -- an unskilled empath -- you are likely to act as an enabler to every narcissist in your life.
You see, it's so easy for empaths to experience another person's point of view, or pain, or even physical discomforts (depending on what your gift(s) actually is as a born empath). Unskilled empaths tend to give. And give. And give.
Narcissists, of course, love to take. And take. And take.
Sounds like a match made in Hell, doesn't it?
Who can do a better job than an unskilled empath at making excuses for a narcissist? It's not as though you'll make these excuses consciously and deliberately. You'll have a quick thought inside, but that one quick thought is enough to take away your power. Let's use the example of dealing with Pat the Narcissist.
•Pat the Narcissist comes home late from work, despite a promise to be on time.
•Aw, Pat's so tired. Poor thing!
•As an unskilled empath with physical intuition, Pat the Narcissist's fatigue trumps yours every time.
•Pat the Narcissist completely forgets your birthday.
•You'd scold him but, gee, he feels so bad already.
•As an unskilled empath with emotional intuition, Pat the Narcissist's delicate feelings trump yours every time.
•Pat the Narcissist yells at you for crumpling his ironing board cover.
•Normally, you'd call this ridiculous. But Pat explains his reasoning so well, you completely understand his point of view.
•And you're so busy admiring his reasoning that you completely forget that you might have a point of view.
If you're an unskilled empath with intellectual empathy, Pat the Narcissist wins every argument, even when his point of view is as ridiculous as complaining over a crumpled ironing board cover.
Incidentally, in case you're wondering how I could make up a silly example like this, I once shared an apartment with "Pat the Narcissist" and she really did ask me to move out, citing the excuse that recently I had put her ironing board away with a crumpled cover.
Unless a narcissist like Pat throws you out, years could go by without your having a clue that you are an empath... or an enabler... or living with a narcissist.
HOW EMPATHS CAN PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM NARCISSISTS
Empath or not, you can look forward to a life of fulfillment, freedom, and balance.
Your first step is simple: Cut cords of attachment to every narcissist in your life, present or past.
Until you cut that cord, you're going to have that narcissist's STUFF playing inside your subconscious mind 24/7. It's a very toxic kind of stinking thinking. Cutting cords to any narcissist is easy and fast and permanent, when done by a professional at Energy Spirituality.
Second, learn to spot narcissists. Use face reading, aura reading, even skilled reading of body language. (You can learn to read all three, and in the categories that count, from my latest how-to book, "Read People Deeper: Body Language + Face Reading + Auras.")
Third, learn skills as an empath. Contrary to what you may have read elsewhere on the Internet, becoming a skilled empath does NOT involve putting up shields, constantly worrying about protecting yourself from psychic attack or narcissists, manipulating your behavior, having different ways to behave depending on whether or not other people are narcissists.
Nor does real skill as an empath involve social skills, like avoiding narcissists, toxic personalities, and psychic vampires. Nor do you need a support group because, as an empath, you are "oh-so-fragile-and-damated." Please!
I'll be blunt. Based in my experience with thousands of clients and students, I'm not just discussing theory here. Social methods and shielding methods, are time-consuming and ineffective.
What works better? Skill as an empath is actually done with your consciousness, effortless shifts in waking up from inside to make yourself the most important person in the room. (This is different from being a narcissist. This approach merely brings you up to speed with people who are not empaths.)
Yes, I can teach you how to easily use your consciousness to wake up inside as a person. Automatically, you will become stronger, and gain the habit of turning your empath gift(s) OFF most of the time.
This, of course, is the essence of my system of Empath Empowerment, and it is far easier to use than the alternatives. You sit down for a several hours with Empowered by Empathy, either the audiobook or the print book. It gives you tested understandings and exercises.
Just experiment with those exercises and voila! Let that narcissist from your path motivate you now! Learn skills that you can use effortlessly every day of your life, skills that really work. Incidentally, 2-3 times a year, I offer a weekend workshop for Empaths. One is coming up September 19-21, and it's a great way to jet propel your development as an empath.
For most empaths, these three steps are enough to keep you fully protected against narcissists. If you continue to suffer, please, please, please, do not decide that you are under psychic attack. Do not blame a psychic vampire or a narcissist with super powers. Heal yourself energetically. I would recommend Energy Release Regression Therapy, which I do here in metro Washington, D.C./Northern Virginia.
We can find and release the underlying cause of your problem. No matter how many narcissists were in your past, or how bad each narcissist was, your story is ultimately about you. I would love to help you give that story a happy middle and happy ending.
Whatever approach you take when dealing with narcissists as an empath, please remember that you are far more powerful than any narcissist, psychic vampire, or person being suspected of launching a psychic attack. Don't allow a void in your personal self that you fill with fears or victimization. No narcissist has to be stronger than you. Ever.
If you're interested in reading faces, check out her Face Readings, another form of spiritual reading.
She's an Expert on Aura here at self-growth.com.
Prefer to study directly? Rose teaches workshops internationally on doing intuitive reading. (Most client sessions are via telephone, with details at her website.
Rosetree is also known for her how-to books:
* “Read People Deeper: Body Language + Face Reading + Auras” , the first book to combine all three different forms of deeper perception,
* “AURA Reading Through All Your Senses” , to help you get skills at reading energy fields.
*"Cut CORDS of Attachment: Heal Yourself and Others with Energy Spirituality" , a healing how-to,
*"Empowered by EMPATHY”with leading-edge techniques that Rose teaches internationally,
One title has become a bestseller in Germany; in America, two have been selections of One Spirit Book Club. If you want to learn to do spiritual reading and also empower yourself in everyday life, you're going to enjoy Rose's work.
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