What is the true meaning of being a sister to another woman?
This question of how women can create new ways of being with each other is an on going one for me. One the the key components for building trust between women is to give your women friends equal billing with your primary partner if you have one.
It is unfortunate that our culture has fostered competition between women, so that women often find it hard to trust other women especially when it comes to men. It seems that what really causes us to compete with each other over a man is our "primal need factor". This is our primal urge to be protected and provided for by a man. This basic urge is often the motivation behind our behavior when it comes to "keeping our man," even though we may not be aware of it. Women have been accepting this need and acting it out for so long that it has become our norm, and so we just accept that this is how women are.
But does this have to be the way it is? No, I believe it doesn't. We are more than just our primal instinctual urges. Maybe it was a necessity to have a man provide and take care of us thousands of years ago, but today we know that women are very capable of taking care of themselves. Choosing a mate is not solely based on needing food, shelter and protection any longer. And yet, many women still believe that this is so and operate from that prime directive. So where do we go from here?
The idea that women can learn to trust another woman and no longer choose to be run by the need to compete with her for a man, or to keep him, is an idea whose time has come. I believe that by choosing to be a true friend and sister, or as I like to call it, a Temple Sister to another woman, we are choosing to create a new paradigm. Of course we have to practice being a Temple Sister first with our close friends. We have to embody the qualities that support that consciousness.
Some of these qualities are:
She recognizes that because she has the same body as every woman she is
feels connected, bonded with all women everywhere.
She sees herself in all women and has an open heart
She is a woman who has learned to love and accept herself fully, in all ways and therefore can love and accept her "sister" in the same way.
She is confident regarding her own abilities and therefore is willing to share herself with other women.
She loves her body and feminine form just the way it is and can appreciate other women's beauty no matter what package it comes in.
She has compassion for her own journey and therefore she can honor and have compassion for the journey of other women.
You can actually read about all of the qualities of being a Temple Sister at The School of Womyn's Mysteries.
In many cultures and societies women have always known that part of their power lies within having strong relationships with other women. For thousands of years, women have come together in circle to share their stories, to hold council and to bleed. What is new now is that we have entered into a new time in the world where we are ready to let go of our old programming of competition and distrust and to open to the new way of collaboration and sisterhood.
I know that for myself, and I am someone who truly loves and appreciates my women friends, that somewhere deep inside is a feeling that someone prettier, younger or whatever is not to be entirely trusted. Most of the time this isn't an issue, but I know that if I have this feeling then other women do too.
The new paradigm I speak of is a movement that starts from within ourselves first and so the work must be done on a personal level. From this place of healing ourselves we then reach out to other women, we can behave differently, we can respond and be with whatever situation arises in a more conscious and loving way. We can learn to treat each other the way we wish to be treated.
There is no quick fix to creating a new way of being with women. Each of us must first commit to being the kind of woman/sister we want others to be for us. To end competition between us over a man we must first be willing to acknowledge that these feelings exist and secondly confront our fears and deal with them. We must also be aware that this is a very old pattern that has been held in place by the prevailing male dominant values that exist. And so our healing can only take place when we are willing to break free of these patterns and step into something new.
I invite all of you to go to and sign-up for the FREE membership as a Temple Sister and become apart of this new movement.
Luminessa Enjara writes for the Examiner.com,Co-founder of WomenTalkingsex.com and a featured writer for OmTimes Magazine. She is the Founder of the School of Womyn's Mysteries and Soul Support and is a gifted Akashic Record consultant, a Spiritual Life Coach and Soul Mentor. She offers consultations by phone as well as on-going support programs. Luminessa is a dynamic and inspirational speaker, a teacher and an amazing guide for self-awareness and transformation.