The secret to getting is having.
Now, before you dismiss this idea as some kind of far-out New Age aphorism, take a moment to contemplate the difference between the experience of wanting something and the experience of having it. Try this: Bring to mind a goal or objective – whether it’s something material or intangible – that you are actively working toward in some aspect of your life, and then say to yourself, out loud, “I want…”, and fill in the blank. For example, “I want to be abundant.” Repeat this a few times and notice how you feel as you do. Not very good, right? That’s because the act of wanting something intensifies our experience of not already having it. The moment we say, “I want…”, we activate within us a vibration of unfulfillment and discontent. Something is missing; we are incomplete. When insufficiency is our point of attraction, we are broadcasting to the far corners of the Uni-verse that we lack the very thing we desire. We live in an energetically-based Uni-verse, which is to say that the experiences and circumstances we attract are always an energetic “match” to our most dominant vibration.
I recently met a business coach at a networking event I attended. He told me about his philosophy, and about the results he’d helped other authors to achieve. Confidently, he said that he could guarantee that I would grow my business by ten times if I chose to hire him as my coach. I was intrigued, so I gave him my card. When he called me a month or so later, I shared that my business was doing really well, that I was involved in a number of creative projects as a result, and that the timing just didn’t feel right to begin working with him. I told him that I had been very impressed by him when we met and that I was interested in what he had to offer, and asked him to please follow up with me again in a few months.
His response to my sharing this was telling, to say the least. “I’m not sure I will be available in a few months,” he said. “And my FEAR is that in the meantime I am going to be hired by one of your competitors.” His choice of words caused a dozen or more red flags to rise simultaneously in my awareness. I thanked him for his time and follow-through and promptly ended the conversation. This guy doesn’t even know who I am, I thought to myself afterwards. I’m an abundance coach! How could the idea of him being hired by another author possibly evoke a sense of fear in me? In my world, there is no competition. He could work for ten other authors and help each of them to grow their businesses to ten times what they are now. None of that affects my ability to create; none of that affects my inherent abundance. I’m sure this man is phenomenal at what he does, but intuitively, I sensed that he was more aligned with wanting than he was with having. For that reason, I decided that he was not my guy. Wanting places the object of our desire “out there” somewhere in the future, apart from our current reality. This is the very essence of powerlessness, which is one of the lowest vibrations we have the capacity to generate within ourselves. Wanting attracts more wanting.
So, try making this statement instead: I am abundant. Say it a few times, and notice how you feel. Those words call forth a very different experience, right? By declaring what you want, not as an expression of longing but as an affirmation that it is already a part of your experience, you activate the vibration of abundance within you. The more you are able to maintain abundance as your point of attraction, the more you will naturally appreciate the many ways in which you already are abundant. You start to notice the abundance of laughter in your life, or the abundance of things that interest you. You begin to appreciate your unlimited capacity to dream, to love, to create… And by appreciating the abundance you are, you magnetize more.
To be satisfied with who you are and what you have in this moment, while at the same time being excited about all the things that in the process of manifesting in the future is to be in perfect alignment with the law of sufficiency and abundance. Dwell on what you don’t have – or what you fear others could take from you – and you’ll continue to be reminded of it. Look for evidence of your abundance, and you are sure to find it.
Christy Whitman is a New York Times bestselling author, transformational leader and CEO and Founder of the Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month certification program for Law of Attraction coaches.