After the Insight, Part Two

By Catherine Auman, MFT

See all Articles by Catherine AumanSee Catherine Auman's Expert PageGet Updates on 12 Step ProgramsGet Updates on Catherine Auman

After an important insight into why you act the way you do, the long process of changing your behavior begins, one action at a time. Most people find it difficult to change without outside support, and if that is you, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or wrong in some way, merely a member of the human race. Here are ten suggestions for finding support:

1. Keep a journal - Writing down your thoughts and feelings while observing your growth can be enormously helpful. It’s also encouraging to review your progress.

2. Join a support group – There are many types of groups, as many as there are problems to solve. Depending on the issues you are working on, this might be Weight Watchers, a walking or work-out team, or a group for adult survivors of sexual abuse.

3. Find a 12-step group - Modeled on the successful program of Alcoholics Anonymous, 12-step groups exist for nearly every issue now. The price is right (donation only) and the meetings are filled with “angels” eager to help you for free.

4. Create a supportive environment – Look around your home to see what changes are needed. For example, you might need to clean the junk food out of your house. Also, this might mean you need new friends, or to see less of old ones.

5. Set measurable goals – It is hard to know when you reach your goals if they are too broad. “I want to be happy” means something different thing to each person with that desire. If “happiness” includes losing ten pounds plus having three months savings in the bank, those are measurable steps on the way to happiness.

6. Reward yourself – It’s important that you celebrate your “wins,” the milestones of progress along the way. Maybe you’ll buy yourself some fresh flowers, or go for a massage. Reward yourself frequently for each small gain.

7 Educate yourself – Read books and study the Internet to learn what successful people before you have done to change and how they did it.

8. Find role models - Sometimes people find it difficult to change because they don’t think a clean lifestyle is sexy. Search out people you respect who have what you want and are doing it in a way you admire.

9. Meditate – You might like to take time each day to do nothing but sit and be with what is, or it might be useful to spend time focusing on the changes you are trying to make and being grateful for the opportunity to change.

10. Above all, continue with the psychotherapy that has helped you. Midway is not the time to stop. After you’re firmly rooted in your new life, you’ll be ready to fly on your own.

© 2011 Catherine Auman