There is a solution to the madness of alcoholism and addiction; a solution that will restore sanity and health, repair relationships and rebuild finances. The solution will have different components for different people but the key to the solution is personal responsibility. If you can, for even one minute, accept 100% responsibility for the state of your affairs, you can start down your path to recovery in this very same moment.
By accepting the responsibility for the havoc your addiction has caused, you can also accept the responsibility for your recovery. If you continue to blame outside forces such as genetics, other people, lack of education or opportunity then you are handing over your power to those very same forces and will continue to act out the role of the helpless victim. To be sure, there are external pressures that contribute and exacerbate the feelings that the alcoholic/addict try to eliminate through consumption of their drug of choice, but nothing and no other person can force you to drink. That decision is yours alone.
For myself, when I recognized and accepted that I was the common denominator in all of the relationships, situations and conditions that I tried mightily to blame for my unhappiness I began the journey to a state of not only sobriety, but also peace of mind, healthy relationships, wealth in all its forms and yes, happiness.
Please understand that acceptance of responsibility does NOT mean acceptance of your life situation staying as it is now - acceptance of responsibility means empowering yourself to make the changes you desire. And by empowering yourself, you'll be able to make the choices that will restore sanity.
There are as many theories to the causes of alcoholism as there are promises of cures by professionals and laypeople, but one thing you must do to beat alcohol - stop drinking. Make that decision now! You may need to detox or wean yourself off, but at some point you must "put the plug in the jug" and the sooner you can do this, the better. To greatly enhance your chances of success, the following success strategies are tools to employ:
1. Get help. You greatly enhance the probability of success if you get support for your efforts; whether it's a 12 step program, residential or out-patient treatment, workplace counseling, or therapy - find what works for you. Talk to your spouse, family, friends and doctor and ask for their assistance. Feeling alone and lonely are emotions that dis-empower and completely unnecessary; develop a support system and USE IT.
2. Let go of judgement. Learn to let go of self criticism and criticism of others as well as conditions as they are; acceptance is critical to put an end to the mental fighting with how things "should" be. Focus your energy where it can do some good and put your attention on what you want - stop wasting it trying to control people and events that are out of your control.
3. Calm yourself. Learn the art of detachment; invest in prayer and meditation; let go of the past and the future, they only exist in your mind; exercise your body, mind and spirit; eat regularly and healthily, get fresh air daily, drink plenty of water, go to bed earlier and get a full nights' sleep; release yourself from the agitation of listening to or reading the news; surrender your identification with alcohol, stop thinking about it - in short, look after yourself by developing your self-awareness.
4. Ask better questions. Our minds are continuously asking and answering questions, often without our being aware of it. Learn to question your beliefs and assumptions; we form most of our beliefs as children and our beliefs inform the mind what to think and how to feel which then determines our behavior. Strategies that kept us safe as kids usually don't serve us well as adults. So if you find yourself behaving in ways that don't serve your well-being today, challenge what you believe about yourself and what meaning you're giving to the situation that seems to be causing your behavior. You'll find great freedom when you give a new, beneficial meaning to old events.
5. Help someone else. This is a stellar tactic to get out of your own way and get some distance from feelings of self-pity and frustration. Get active in looking for ways to improve the life of someone else and be generous with your time, energy and attention - you'll reap just as many rewards as the person you help.
By making the decision of being completely accountable for your actions, you reclaim command of your life. No one else can sober up for you and there is no magic pill for sobriety or happiness; but there is a solution to the misery of alcoholism and it's within your reach to grasp it now. Be responsible; get help, free yourself from the burden of judgement, calm and nurture yourself, challenge your default beliefs and behaviors and be of service by helping others. You are worth the consistent effort it takes to recover - get very clear about the outcome you want and hold that vision in your mind, allow yourself to feel what it will be like to be free of the wearisome burden of addiction. Let go of the idea that you need alcohol; stop weakening your mind with internal chatter that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And develop the mindset of gratitude; your life could be much worse than it is and, with persistence, it will be much better.
Are you still allowing events from the past to limit your confidence and seemingly make you feel helpless? Natural Confidence is an easy and elegant program that will eliminate your beliefs and conditioning, for good, and allow you to switch your identity from that of a victim to that of a powerhouse - click here now to live your life on YOUR terms.
Lorna M. Atkinson is a writer and advocate of reclaiming personal power through the alignment of personality and soul and is dedicated to freeing the mind from limitations learned in the past.