What did I do to deserve this? What is so wrong with me that I keep attracting losers? How come I end up with men who mistreat and use me? How could I have allowed it to get to this point? How come I didn’t see him for who he really was until it was too late?
These were all questions I constantly pondered as the latest in a series of disappointing and unfulfilling relationships had come to its evitable end.
Even more baffling, was that for the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was drawing to me and drawn to men whose character and values couldn’t be more juxtaposed to my own in so many respects. Where I was devoted and loyal to a fault, he was constantly running around with other women. Where I was dependable and consistent, he was flaky and unreliable. Where I was contentious, he was irresponsible and untrustworthy.
So if like truly attracts like, why was I attracting men who couldn’t be more opposite than me as a person?
With every perceived failed relationship went a little more of my sense of self-worth and self-esteem, only further compromising my already fragile and damaged state resulting in spiral downward. It wasn’t until I hit my own personal bottom that I vowed to get to the bottom of what was causing me so much inner turmoil and confusion.
After much contemplation, introspection and research, I came to the realization that it wasn’t who I was that was attracting these types of men, but where I was vibrating from that was the source of my frustration.
While reviewing my previous encounters with men, I also came to realize that I had always entered relationships from a certain degree of fear, insecurity, desperation, low self-esteem and worth and in most instances, a combination of all these emotional and psychological states.
So no matter how sweet, loving or supportive I may have been in my relationships with men, I realized I would be destined to draw in the wrong types of men until I learned how to resonate from a higher and healthier vibration.
When you vibrate from a place of desperation and fear, it makes you a magnet for less desirable men and situations. Like to sides of the same coin, the abused attracts the abuser. Players attract women who are very vulnerable, insecure and even desperate. The hustler and predator attract women who are easily preyed upon and it’s this similar lower energy that two people are vibrating from that is alike.
So in order bring the man into your life that you can have that special relationship with, you must begin to raise your vibrational frequency. To do this, you have to assess where you are vibrating from now.
Identifying the types of men and relationships you’ve been drawing to you and engaging in up until this point will give insight on what you need to work through in order to begin increasing your vibrations. For example, if you’re attracting men who you allow to take advantage of and exploit you, this can indicate that you have issues surrounding feeling unworthy and undeserving.
Then ask yourself, ”What’s causing me to vibrate at this level?” In other words, why don’t you feel worthy and more deserving of a better relationship?
Addressing issues of self-worth, insecurity and fear will not only keep the less desirable men at bay, it will also allow you to increase your vibration so that you can become a magnet for the right man to enter your life.
As a dating and relationship coach, I empower single women with the dating principles and strategies necessary to effectively and easily release toxic beliefs about relationships while attracting their "Mr. Right" in a fun, positive, and healthy way. To subscribe to my free newsletter, or schedule a private coaching session to discover your own path to true love, visit: http://www.attracttherightguy.com