By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
We believe that many folks are afraid of marriage because they read the dire predictions about marriage in the news, they watch way too much television where the focus is, more often than not, on glorifying sex and multiple relationships, and because they hear too many people belittling the value and sanctity of marriage. It’s a shame really because it causes people desperate for love to look for love in all the wrong places.
There is science involved in understanding why so many marriages beyond the first one fail. People desperate for love go to singles bars, nightclubs, parties, etc. Now ask yourself this very honest and forthright question – do you really expect that your best chance to find Mr. or Ms. Right is through one of these venues? That is not to say that it doesn’t happen from time to time, but we suspect that people looking for lasting love in these places rarely find it. This is not meant as a criticism of these venues so much as our attempt to open your eyes to the limited chances of finding someone to spend your life with in places like this.
Our advice is go to places where you are more likely to find another person looking for true and lasting love – at church or synagogue, at volunteer opportunities, by belonging to social organizations like dance clubs, at interest-oriented meetings such as book clubs, car clubs, outdoor organizations or community action groups, at the bookstore over a cup of coffee, or at work (this gets a little complicated!), to name a few. If you meet a person doing what you enjoy doing the most, chances are, you will find a person who shares your same interests and passions. Make a list of all of the things you love doing, then start doing them.
Fairly recent on the matchmaking front are the dating services and on-line dating sites. There is still no clear conclusion about the long-term success rate or validity of the matching capabilities of these services. However, one thing is for sure, much caution has to be used when engaging these services. For tips on things to watch out for see: Does online dating lead to marriage?
In our judgment a principle cause of divorce is because people end up married to the wrong person after searching for love in all the wrong places. Start doing what you enjoy the most and you will be looking for love in the right places. We are confident you will find the one you can love and who will love you for a lifetime.
Simple Things Matter in love and marriage. Love well!
By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
For more tips to enhance your relationship get the Doctor’s best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley 2010) Available wherever books are sold.
Winner of the INDIE Book Awards GOLD Medal for Best Relationship Book
Winner of the 2009 Mom’s Choice Awards GOLD Medal for Most Outstanding Relationships and Marriage Book
2009 Nautilus Book Awards Winner for Relationships
As America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts and award-winning authors, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz help international audiences answer questions about love, marriage and relationships. With 26 years of research on love and successful marriage across six continents of the world and their own 43-year marriage, the Doctors know what makes relationships work.
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