Last week, I introduced you to the Be-Do-Have model. This week lets take a closer look at how to apply it to our lives.
The great advantage of understanding this model is that we begin to see that our inner world creates our outer world, not the other way around. When we focus internally on being the person we desire to be, our actions will flow naturally flow out of this place.
Napolean Hill’s book “Think and grow rich” is based on this very principle. He suggests that if you want to become a millionaire, your first priority needs to be to think like a millionaire. Just working hard and doing lots of action to try and earn more money is never enough. If you work hard to gain wealth yet still have a poverty or lack mentality, your actions will end up working against your overall purpose. Actions flow out of our beliefs and perceptions of ourself, so unless we deal with the Being, the Doing will never get us the results we are looking for.
The key is to live in this order: Be-Do-Have, yet often people think: Have-Do-Be. i.e. – If you Have the money, then you can Do the things you want to do, and then you can Be the person you want to Be. Instead, You have to Be before you can Do, and you have to Do before you can Have.
So, think about the kind of person you want to be. How do you want to be known? When you are dead, how do you want to be remembered?
For instance, if you want to be a better father, it is a lie to believe that when you Have more time, then you will be able to Do more things with the kids and will therefore Be a better dad. In reality, we will never be the person we want to be if we wait to Have first.
Far too often we are waiting to HAVE before we DO and then Be.
Having starts with Being. We have the ability to start Being the person we want to be right now!
Continuing on with the example of wanting to be a better father:
1. Who do I need to BE?
Loving, consistent, patient, lead myself well, Godly, available, present, vulnerable, self controlled, fun, adventurous, energetic, creative, great role model, a loving husband, in control of my time,healthy etc.
2. If I was that kind of person, how would I act and what would I be DOing?
Spending quality and quantity time with the kids, disciplining consistently not out of anger or frustration, creating great memories, making up games, having lots of fun, talking about real life issues, praying together, apologising when I got it wrong, romancing their mother, living a healthy lifestyle, planning surprises and adventures, practicing what I preach, developing my relationship with God etc.
3. Now what would I Have?
A great relationship with the Kids.
By being the person you really want to be right now, whether you have everything in place to reach your goals, or not, you will bring about the life you want sooner than later.
Whatever it is you are aiming for, start BEING that person today.
Be a better husband/wife and make the choices a great husband/wife would make
Be financially free, and start walking and talking like a person who is good with their money.
Be a better disciple of Jesus and start living like a real disciple would.
Be a happy person and start doing what happy people do.
Ask yourself “Who do I need to be to get the results I’m looking for?” Then go start Being that person. It really is that simple.
For over 14 years Jaemin has been actively helping people bring about change in their lives through coaching, mentoring and various leadership roles. Jaemin is a gifted communicator with a genuine desire to see people grow and flourish in life.) He has a passion for helping people achieve holistic success in work, relationships and personal spheres. Jaemin is the founder of the largest life coaching company in australia (Frazer, Holmes and Associates.) and has been the senior pastor of Liberty Christian Fellowship for the last 10 years and worked as the school chaplain at Mulwarree High school for 2 years. Jaemin has been married to his lovely wife Katherine for 13 years and is a proud father of two young children.