We just finished another bootcamp for men in Chicago and are about to head to New York City for another one for men this friday-saturday, and I have to tell you how one thing strikes me: so often, men think that they have to be perfect in so many ways - perfect at their dating skills, finding the perfect woman to marry, and after a tough time of a long relationship or the absence of a dating life on the other end of the spectrum, many rubber-band to the opposite of what they think is failure - going after only what's perfect.
Well most of you aren't aware of this, but with the new TV show filming taking place in NYC, we are doing a very special one time only price on these trainings, and you don't have to be perfect to take advantage of it.
That's right, and it comes with the $500 Virtual Dating Coach, FREE, and the Omega Male Program Video Streaming subscription FREE. And oh yes, LIFETIME Men's Psychology On Demand Membership. Look, it's only FOUR DAYS from now, so what are you thinking? That's $5000 PLUS worth of our products and trainings for only FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!
So here is what I was thinking about imperfection in all these forms:
There is often concern on the part of guys that a woman:
Isn't "hot enough" for them
Has the wrong personality type
Has too many different goals from their own
Is too immature
Doesn't come from the right family
Might cheat or has in the past
Might not add enough financial, emotional, or intellectual value to the relationship
And often these men might fear that they, themselves:
Aren't attractive enough to get the perfect woman
Aren't of the right lifestyle or demographic for the woman they want
Have too much to learn, or too much to play "catch up" on in men's development
Don't have enough money
Don't have the right career yet to support a woman or family
Aren't sure they want children and what if the woman does?
Aren't as smart as the woman they want
Well I have a quick little story to tell you.
It's a book my own mother got me at a young age, and I didn't understand it at all the way I do today. In fact, I suspect that as a woman, SHE definitely didn't understand its meaning.
It's called The Little Prince, by the French war hero and pilot, St. Exupery.
Essentially it's a story about the "wisdom" that children have in approaching the world with fresh eyes, and learning the value of patience and appreciation of life. Which is extra touching given that St. Exupery himself went down missing during WWII before he could go on with his destiny of being an ongoing writer of philosophy and romance.
Yet one of the most poignant bits of the book describes the struggle the little boy has with the one, lone other living creature inhabiting the tiny planet on which he lives - a flower, a rose.
It's often speculated that St Exupery was wittingly or unwittingly referring to his own tumultuous marriage in the form of the flower as his real live wife.
In it, the Little Prince has all kinds of arguments with this flower, this member of another species. She doesn't appreciate him, they don't understand each other, and after all, they are very different beings.
And yet in his advantures down on the Earth, below, he discovers true loneliness in the desert, and longs for his one lone flower back on his planet, even though they are so very different and don't understand each other...
...reaching the conclusion that what makes the flower so valuable to him is not that it understands him, does things the way he does them, or even appreciates him as the perfect companion on his little world.
It's simply that the flower is HIS.
His to care for, and his to try to learn the ways of. His to fight with, and disagree with and not see eye to eye.
But unlike anything he sees on earth, that little flower on his planet is HIS.
Which is a different take from "love the one you're with."
It means that a man can't be PASSIVE in his love life - it does fall on you to try to reach out to "the one you're with" and try to learn about her quirks and nuances and habits, even if she isn't quite the perfect personality style for you, or quite the supermodel good looker you wanted as a teen.
And if you are a guy who is just starting or rebooting his dating life, it does fall on you to do the work of LEARNING how to attract the kind of woman you want, to appeal to her but also to teach her what appeals to YOU.
It's a two-way street, yet not one in which perfect men must find perfect women.
There's no such thing.
But the materials of the Omega Male Program, the Bootcamps, MindOS, KWML, the MMP and all our programs do offer an ideal YARDSTICK by which to measure your skills and progress, as well as the behavior of women in turn.
But that doesn't mean that YOU have to be perfect.
The courses are here:
It's just nice to know there is a perfect science backing you, instructing you, and guiding your progress.
Along that journey you will be fine to settle into what isn't perfect, but above all is YOURS and YOURS alone.
And that's living at your best as a man.
Paul Dobransky, M.D. is a board-certified psychiatrist, public speaker and relationship expert who has treated more than 10,000 patients in 15+ years in clinical psychiatric care. Journalists and clients worldwide have sought Dr. Paul's advice on dating, relationships and all aspects of human psychology.
Dr. Paul pioneered MindOS, a new, patent-pending approach to understanding relationships, mood problems and stress. MindOS synthesizes all schools of therapy into a single, effective system-based approach that uses plain language to help people understand psychology and solve problems. Go to http://www.menspsychology.com/ to learn more.