Betrayal: How It Feels & What To Do About It

Throughout my life, I have considered every human being on an even keel with me. I treat each person I meet with dignity and respect; and I expect them to return the same.

I’m the guy who walks into the gym with a smile on my face and a greeting, “Top of the morning ma’am.” I open doors for ladies while I pick up trash tossed in the parking lot.

When I attended college, I worked part-time jobs during the school year and full-time in the summer. I learned life doesn’t give anyone a free ride. You either earn it, or you’re a slave to other systems that sustain you.

During college, guys on my floor asked to borrow $10.00 for a pizza or a movie. Most of the time, they paid it back. Sometimes, they didn’t. I grew a bit irritated when they didn’t repay the loan. I worked hard for the money.

In my junior year, I took an English Literature class about Shakespeare’s greatest works. If you remember, the Bard once said through Polonius, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry (thrift).” Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 75–77. Lending money to friends proves risky. Why? Because hitching debt onto personal relationships causes resentment and, in the case of default, loses the lender both his money and his friend. Borrowing or lending invites other private dangers.

At one point, my best friend asked to borrow $100.00. He paid it back in $20.00 allotments. But when he paid $20.00 to added up to $80.00, he said, “Well, here’s your last $20.00 to pay for the $100.00.”

I said, “Bob, you still owe $20.00 to make the hundred bucks you owe me. I’ve got it written down in this journal with dates.”

He tried to play on my good will, but I demanded he pay the full amount of the loan. It taught me a lesson. Someone who cannot or won’t borrow from a bank---may take any of his or her friends for a ride. They use the emotions of a friendship to create guilt in a friend to give a loan. The Bard called it; I heed it in my own life.

But I ran into other nasty realities throughout my life. Once I created a long distance bicycle tour with several of my dear friends, one of them, an Australian, didn’t know the lay of the land. While on the tour, one of my longtime friends secretly talked my Aussie friend out of finishing the ride from Canada to Mexico because she said, “It’s too hot for you and miserable.”

My Aussie friend pulled out of the ride. Our ride ended without me knowing why. Years later, I discovered the betrayal.

While working for a company in Denver, Colorado, a fellow worker undercut me by creating a nasty rumor about me. As soon as I heard about it from a fellow employee, I jumped in front of the culprit. He confessed and apologized.

Throughout your life, different people arrive to teach you different lessons. Some lie, some cheat, some steal and some create rumors. Some play on your emotions for loans or favors. Others undermine you at work or even at play. Different people create different intrigues to make your life interesting. You face “drama queens and kings” that love to create conflict within your family or gatherings.

Methods for solving betrayals, duplicities, infidelities, treacheries and perfidies:

---Maintain your own integrity at all times.
---Never borrow or lend money, car or possessions.
---If a new friend shows him or herself to be less than quality, move toward another opportunity for friendship.
---Maintain your own “high vibrational frequencies” in order to attract good people into your life. You’ll find that the ones that drink heavily, smoke or do drugs—don’t possess the qualities you appreciate.
---Whenever you shut the door or chapter of one part of your life, realize you open new doors and opportunities for a successful and happy journey.

It’s your life, make it spectacular!

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