I heard myself say it, and immediately felt the discord of the statement. âI can try, but Iâll fail.â That was the second time this week that Iâve heard myself say something to the effect of âI donât believe in myselfâ, and now that Iâm hearing it, Iâm really committed to changing those negative thoughts.
I have a solid grasp on the Law of Attraction, of course thereâs always more to learn, but I certainly know the power of my own words and thoughts, and I have known it for a long while now. Yet I still catch myself spewing these statements that are in opposition to what I really want to create. Why do we do that? I came up with some thoughts and some EFT tapping statements on why that might be. Check to see if they are part of your own vibration too and then take steps to change it and build your self esteem.
The first thing that comes to mind of course is self-doubt. Despite our best efforts to think positive thoughts, sometimes those old patterns of thinking are just too deeply ingrained. Our brains are wired, through their neural nets to continue thinking in the way that we have thought in the past. Think of it like a forest path thatâs been worn smooth by years of footprints. If your dominant thoughts have been something along the lines of âIâm not good enoughâ, âI fail at everything I tryâ, âthings donât come easily to meâ, then you have a strong neural net or pathway built in your brain. When you think a thought about yourself and your ability to accomplish something, the next thought will most likely take the path of least resistance through your brain and activate those old negative thinking patterns. Despair not though, we know that these neural pathways can be changed with practice and dedication to a new thought or pathway and EFT can speed up the process dramatically.
At first, it can be challenging to carve out a new path, after all itâs like the Amazon in there, and itâs going to take some time to get that path nice and smooth and wide. Another good analogy is to think of it like driving somewhere youâve never been before. The first time you go there you have to PAY ATTENTION to where youâre going. You keep checking your map, always looking for signs that youâre going the right direction, watching for your exit and taking the proper turns. Itâs not that difficult, it just requires your conscious mind to be a participant. Now imagine the 300th time you take that same trip. By now, itâs completely imbedded in your subconscious mind, you donât have to think about it at all, and before you know it, youâve arrived and you donât even remember driving there. Thatâs called unconscious competence. Right now, you are most likely consciously competent, or at least you will be by the time you finish reading this. In conscious competence you have to exert conscious effort to change your thoughts. When you hear a thought thatâs travelling along that old neural net that you want to replace with a new, more positive set of beliefs, youâll have to stop yourself and say âthatâs my old neural net, Iâm creating a new neural net now that says I am good enough, things always work out for me and things come easily to me.â
If you find that those new thoughts are completely foreign to you and you donât believe them for a second, itâs time for some EFT. To really find the root of your self-doubt it would be highly beneficial to look into your past and do some EFT on the past events or circumstances that originally taught you that you werenât good at things, that you werenât good enough, or whatever else is ingrained in that neural net of yours.
For example, if you were always picked last for baseball, that might have created , or at least strengthened the belief that you werenât good enough. Maybe it was just because the captains picking the teams picked their best friends first, or maybe you really were crummy at baseball, but does that automatically mean youâre not good enough at everything and in general? No, of course not, but your subconscious mind likely made that assumption, itâs very good at making assumptions. You could use EFT to shine the light of day on all those instances when you felt that you werenât good enough and see how the murky negative beliefs about yourself start to lift. In this way, we change the neural net VERY fast and create a new belief equally fast. I would use something like this;
âEven though I felt like I wasnât good enough when Tommy didnât pick me to be on his team for baseball, I love and accept myself completely.â
âEven though Iâm convinced that Iâm not good enough because Tommy didnât want me, I love and accept myself completely.â
âEven though I still have that feeling to this day, and I often believe that Iâm not good enough, just like I did back then, I love and accept myself completely.â
Then go through the rounds,
Eyebrow: I felt rejected
Side of Eye: I wasnât good enough
Under the Eye: Iâve never been good enough
Under the Nose: Iâll never be good enough
Chin: Iâm just a loser
Collarbone: Iâm a failure
Under the arm: Iâm not good enough
Top of the head: He made me feel like I wasnât good enough
You may need to do a few rounds of that until it feels better and you start to see that this event really doesnât need to hold so much power in your beliefs about yourself. When you get to a point where youâre starting to see that it was just something that happened and it really doesnât mean anything about who you are now, try tapping in some positive affirmations like these.
âI choose to know that being passed up for baseball is okay.â
âI choose to know that there were reasons for that beyond the meaning I assigned to it back thenâ
âI choose to know that this event has nothing to do with my worthiness, my capabilities or my ability to succeed.â
Eyebrow: I want to believe that Iâm good enough
Side of Eye: I wonder if I can build a new neural net
Under the Eye: I know deep down that I am good enough and I deserve success
Under the Nose: This old neural net is on itâs way out
Chin: Iâm hopeful that I can feel good enough
Collarbone: I always feel good enough when Iâ¦.(fill in the blank)
Under the arm: that baseball thing has nothing to do with my worthiness
Top of the head: I choose to know that I am good enough and Iâm building a new neural net to that end
In part two weâll discuss the second piece of the negative self-talk puzzleâ¦fear of getting our hopes up and being disappointed. Stay tuned!
Ellie Steele is a holistic health coach specializing in helping her clients overcome self-sabotage, emotional eating and lack of motivation that prevent them from reaching their goals of living their best selves. She uses a blend of holistic nutrition, EFT, Law of Attraction Training and holistic lifestyle coaching.