He is well educated
He is more successful than most of his friends
He even has a PHD degree

but the last time he was in a social gathering. He didn't find the right words, didn't feel secure and felt like a complete loser.

The man felt as if he had no self confidence and wondered, why can't he be confident even though he has done all of these achievements?

Why can't he feel confident?
One of the greatest misconceptions about self confidence people have is believing that any achievement would add to the person's overall self confidence even if the achievement is not related to the situation.

If you learned how to play tennis and became a professional tennis player you will find yourself more confident at tennis matches but that's very less likely to affect your ability to start a conversation with a stranger.

The problem with our friend who has a PHD degree is that he thought that his knowledge and success should make him confident in a situation where completely different parameters are required.

Self confidence is divided into different areas and how building self confidence should be done by fixing the problematic areas instead of trying to build the overall self confidence.

Self confidence parameters
In each situation there are certain parameters that would determine your overall level of confidence at that situation.

If you were talking to friends about work, career or future then most probably your financial success would be one of the biggest parameters that would affect your self confidence at that situation while if you were trying to approach a stranger from the other sex then your assertiveness, self image and communication skills are going to be the main parameters that would affect your self confidence.

The moral of the story is simple, don't try to be confident in a certain situation by depending on parameters that makes no sense to that specific situation.

Author's Bio: 

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