Feeling a lack of self-worth takes an incredible toll on our effectiveness in being family caregivers — as well as on our own health and well-being. When we feel a lack of self- worth or self-regard, we are out of rapport with our inner self.
Our lack of self-esteem results in a drastically reduced connection with our inner knowingness. We are unable to access our intuition (as Einstein called it) as to what is right for us to do. The negative perceptions we formed about ourselves as children — often the root cause of poor self-worth in adults and children alike — are held as beliefs in our subconscious. Unfortunately positive thinking or even visualization at the conscious level does not change those deeply rooted subconscious perceptions.
There are several techniques that have the power to release negative subconscious beliefs and create new, more positive and appropriate beliefs, and so to heal self-worth issues. I have used both The Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT (also called “tapping”) as well as Psychological Kinesiology. Let me share some highlights of these techniques as I have used them to lighten my caregiver load.
Some common negative perceptions people hold at the subconscious level show up as comments like, “I don’t matter. I am not good enough. What I say doesn’t mean anything.” Using EFT, a tapping technique that connects to meridians (energy flows) in the body, you tap a series of points on your body as you say aloud, “Even though, I feel I don’t matter, I love and accept myself.”
Using the EFT method of tapping, you are telling a deeper part of your body-mind that you accept your shortcomings with love. By accepting yourself just as you are, you release those misconceptions about yourself that you have held for a lifetime at the subconscious level.
There are several EFT guides to tapping that explain the process and show you how to do it. The best I have read is the one written by Benjamin Schwarcz, MFT, Tapping Into Joy: Meridian Tapping and Mindfulness, A Simple and Effective Method of Self-Help. For deep-seated issues, it is most effective to work with an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Practitioner. At my Web Site www.authorBettyLSmith.com, you’ll find a direct link to the site where you can find more information about Tapping Into Joy and purchase it if you choose.
EFT and Psychological Kinesiology complement each other. Where EFT is about releasing negative perceptions held in the subconscious mind as beliefs, Psychological Kinesiology is a technique that helps the subconscious mind accept a new positive belief.
Psychological Kinesiology, or Psych-K, is a practical method for creating left-brain right-brain balance, according to the founder of Psych-K, Robert Williams. In his work, he discovered that the right and left brain needed to be in balance in order for the subconscious to accept a new belief.
(There is a more in-depth process, including muscle testing, to using this right and left brain balancing techniques to introduce a new belief. But that’s a level of complexity beyond the scope of this article.)
Let me share one of the balance-both-sides-of-your-brain exercises that I have found most valuable is creating an internal balance that opens the way to introduce new beliefs about loving yourself unconditionally.
Stand upright with your eyes straight ahead. Your head does not move in this exercise. Raise your left knee and tap it with your right hand. Move your eyes to look upwards and to the left. Release. Do the other side. Lift your right knee and tap it with your left hand. Simultaneously, move your eyes to look upwards and to the right. Repeat both sides twenty-five times. End by standing straight again and raise your arms straight out from your sides at shoulder height.
Allow your arms to move at their own pace into forming an embrace of yourself. As you do so, say to yourself one of the phrases below.
The following statements can be helpful antidotes to low self-esteem and feeling poorly about yourself. Balancing both sides of your brain before working with these statements can make them more effective replacing outdated and toxic beliefs.
1. I love myself unconditionally.
2. The love of Self sets me free.
3. The love of Self makes it safe to be who I am.
4. The love of Self heals me.
Good luck on your process of releasing negative feelings and healing your self-worth.
Betty L. Smith is a lifelong learner and tireless explorer of human nature. From the time she was a teen, she inquired and studied, to understand why humans behave as we do and get the results that we get. Her curiosity propelled her forward and inward to find answers. Among the pioneering wave of women business owners, Betty opened an art gallery in Santa Rosa in the 1960s. Later, as top salesperson in Northern California for Simplex, a pre-Quickbooks system for small businesses, Betty observed people's money issues, both personally and in business. That led to her presenting personal money management workshops one of her main clients was the Service Employees International Union members.
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