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***Changing Partners: Destroying Bad Habits in Your Life
Being that it is near the start of a new year, I thought it would be a good time to cover a topic such as this. I know for many people the start of a new year brings mixed emotions. They feel a sense of excitement as they look upon the future with a renewed hope for change; however, they also feel dread or even shame as old habits they once swore to forsake still trouble them going into the New Year.
I know how this feels. Sometimes it’s difficult to envision a life free from destructive attitudes, behaviors, and thought processes when those things have described your “normal” way of life for some time. A teacher I listened to once said that you should be careful about what defines your normal because it could be a lie. I would wholeheartedly agree.
I’ve found that many if not all bad habits come with a promise: pleasure, security, compassion, love, power, strength, etc. All of these represent very real and legitimate needs. What makes a habit “bad” is its overall impact on you, others, and if it truly offers that which you seek. Many bad habits are illusions. They promise powerful, attractive, yet shallow and deceptive feelings of satisfaction that are almost always coupled with long-term negative circumstances. What’s more, there are also neurochemical consequences which make such habits especially difficult to break. A great article on this topic can be found here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40893205/ns/health-behavior
“Changing partners” involves integrating into our lives new habits that do not put us or others at risk and that offer real and lasting rewards without shame. Think of it as being thirsty and exchanging the illusion of an oasis for a real drink of water. It can be that satisfying. Furthermore, when we change partners in this way, we are no longer negatively impacted by the frequency of the behavior. For instance, if someone has a problem with binge drinking when they are stressed out, then changing to honest, frequent, and intimate communication with trustworthy friends is only going to make them better, not worse.
But don’t be fooled. Making the choice to change partners is often our most difficult battle. Typically, our circumstances have to grow so dire that we are forced into change. It doesn’t have to be this way. Many people successfully seek psychological and even spiritual help to make this decision. Whichever way you choose judge it ultimately by its ability to provide a lasting benefit. If you can’t pursue it frequently, fervently, and with everything you’ve got without destroying your life, then you may want to change partners.
Inspiring hope,
Marius
www.mariusmassieseminars.com
Marius Massie is a dynamic communicator gripping the attention of adult learners, Generation Y teens, and young adults; infusing passion, illustrative stories, and humor to create an environment that is engaging, informative, and life-changing. As a writer, Marius loves to inspire hope for his readers through thought-provoking and encouraging content on topics such as personal identity, everyday living, and relationships. Marius has more than 11 years of professional education experience and is committed to the goal of every person discovering their significance, building healthy relationships, and operating at their peak performance. His motivational and instructional seminars have positively impacted students, educators, and parents through youth-serving, parent, and social service organizations nationwide.
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