Chinese Mail Order Brides and How To Choose The Right One!

By Sam Reeves

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In all honesty, I'm not very keen on the term Chinese mail order brides as one, it gives the impression that you can just pop a stamped addressed envelope in the mail and receive a woman by return of post; and two, because it implies that all women in China will want to leave their country at the drop of a hat, even if they know next to nothing about their prospective husband. Both of these (especially the first one, obviously) are not true.

Having lived in China for over eight years there is something I'd like to explain to you which can help you with your choice of Chinese bride, and it's this: Whereas it is true that China is a developing country, it is not, however, true that all Chinese women want to leave their country. In point of fact, the vast majority do not want to leave their country, not now, or in the future. China, and Chinese culture, is not really the same as the other Asian countries' culture and thinking. So let's take a look at a few things to look for in a Chinese woman that will help you with your choice of Chinese bride.

1. In relation to the above point, if you are in contact with a Chinese woman online or in person (in her own country) and she is more than happy to leave her country to be your bride, you had better ask yourself 'why?' My meaning is related to Chinese culture and their overriding social conditioning that leads them to be exceptionally filial. I'm sure you've heard or read it before, but you may not have had it said to you in this manner of a question: 'If a Chinese woman is supposed to be filial, how exactly can she be filial to her family if she is thousands of miles away?' Within Chinese cultures' idea of the word 'filial', she actually can't be. It's impossible (unless she brings her parents to live with you!). Also, if she is agreeing to leave her parents in order to be with you, what makes you think she will be filial to you over the long-term? The offspring living far away from their parents is normal/common in western culture; but it's most definitely not in Chinese culture.

2. Age. This can be a rather major factor as to whether your marriage with your Chinese bride becomes successful and harmonious or ends up as something of a nightmare. In general, 'the older the better', but by no means absolutely so. Even within different age groups you should be aware of the various types, but at least the Chinese women that are of a reasonable age (forty plus) will have the necessary life experience to be able to possibly deal with a culture that is very different from their own. The younger the woman, the higher chance you have of some serious Chinese bride problems that won't go away, and could end in divorce in many peoples' experience. You really need to understand much more about Chinese women and their behavior and expectations before taking such a big step.

3. Expectations. A Chinese womans expectations of you, and what they expect from you, are usually in excess of anything a western woman has ever expected from you; but I should say this, with the right one what she will give back will be far in excess of what any western woman would.