Coping With Infidelity: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

By Dr. Joe James

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There are several things people will do when they are coping with infidelity. Some are positive things while others are negative things. The positive methods that some people take come in the form of therapy or counseling. Negative methods might be drinking or a new addiction to drugs, gambling or some other distracting force.

When a spouse or mate cheats, the first reaction is usually anger. The anger can be turned inward, where the person blames himself or herself and lets the partner off with very little repercussions. Anger can also be turned outward, which may be the cause of physical harm to the cheating partner and the person he or she has chosen to cheat with.

If you find out your partner has cheated, you will have to think quickly about your reaction. It may be a deciding factor for the situation to come. You will have a decision to make. You will need to decide whether you can forgive and rebuild the trust they have lost or if you will leave and try to find a new, more reliable relationship.

If you decide to stay and try to work things out, always give your partner the chance to do so. Do not stay and continue to harp on the person, causing them prolonged mental stress and agony. If you say you are going to give them a chance, make sure you are doing so.

If you decide to leave, you should decide right away if you want to keep up any communications with that partner right away. If you have been together a long time and have issues to sort out, such as living arrangements, divorce or children, you will need to connect at some point to work amicably on these issues.

You must make sure you are taking care of your mental health and self-esteem during this traumatic time. You may find yourself going into a deep depression, being severely stressed or having anxiety attacks. These symptoms should not be ignored. Speak to a professional about them. You might want to join support groups for individuals who are dealing with a similar situation.

Seek counseling or therapy with a qualified affair recovery therapist to help you when you are coping with infidelity. If you feel you might be spiraling in a downward pattern and are harboring negative feelings, you should get help from whatever resource you can. Surround yourself with loved ones and people that you trust. Feeling cared and loved for is the best tonic for coping with infidelity.