Coping Advice for Men – Phases of Divorce and How to Deal with Them

“Life is not a difficult thing” – at least that’s how men want to appear in front of other people. As men, we want to show the world that no matter how difficult complicated, or painful a situation can be, we will always be able to deal with it easily and come out fine in the end. Well, unfortunately this is not always the case, especially where divorce for men is concerned. Divorce will push you into things that you would otherwise never do under normal circumstances. It’s a combination of confusing emotions mixed with stressful situations that can literally make life a living hell. But it doesn’t have to end there either. Moving forward is still very much possible after a divorce, and while the process may indeed be difficult, knowing the stages that you are going through and how to deal with them will help greatly in your quest for acceptance. Instead of having to explain each phase however it’s best that we concentrate on the solutions as you already have an idea of which stage you are already at. It’s also best to remember that you will need to deal with each problem one at a time in order to get the best possible results. Denial It’s essential that you leave this particular phase as quickly as you can, if you haven’t already yet. Realize that the situation you are in is happening and it is happening to you right now. Realize that the only way you can ever move forward is to accept that what you’re going through IS the way forward. You will need to accept the fact that there is no going back and that you will need to take action in order to move on with your life, even if you have no idea as to what that action might be. Anger Properly dealing with anger can be difficult especially if all the painful memories of what you have gone through are still fresh within your mind; difficult, yes, impossible, no. One good way to deal with the anger that you have is to release it but in a positive way. Exercise is one good way to sweat out your demons, boxing and martial arts when done properly will give you a physical outlet for that rage, even art can be used to harness the rage that you have into something that is not out there to hurt but simply as a form of release. Bargaining Without having to really explain, you already have an idea of what this phase implies. Basically it’s your last ditch effort to do everything you can in order to supposedly save your marriage. Self-esteem, ego, and self worth are thrown out of the window in order to bring the world back into a state where you are able to comprehend it once again. Begging for reconciliation will not only impede on your own recovery but may even throw you back to where you began. Dealing with this phase relies on realization. Realize that you will not be able to change someone’s mind or force them into your will. People will only change if they themselves want it, and regardless of whatever you do nothing will happen. Depression Depression can be a tricky subject to deal with. To be free from depression, you will need to work towards acceptance of not only the divorce itself but also your life after divorce. You must understand that there is nothing more you can do to change or alter the past, but there is something you can do to make the future a whole lot better. Start living a new life, even if you feel you are being forced into it. Remove the habits that you’ve become so accustomed to when you were married and start developing new ones – ones that compliment your independence. Acceptance and recovery will only take place once you have dealt with all the phases of your divorce properly. Moving forward will be difficult but not impossible if you are willing to take action in order to change things for the better.