Dancing with Insecurities Part II.

Dearest Darling Readers, ‘Things’ people want, change from time to time. But, how they want to ‘feel’ remains the same. In relationships, it is the feelings and not the things that we need to focus on. When the feelings are not right, we feel insecure. In the last LSM- Dancing with Insecurities, my dear friends, we had discussed about what happens when we become insecure. I was thrilled with the feedbacks we received for that LSM. I had promised we will discuss about solutions this week. Here it comes… I believe, there are five possible ways to deal with the insecurity we feel. 1. Inspiration -Inspired people achieve more in life than those who are ‘not’ inspired. Like a bird, who flies over the fences on the ground unmindful of the fences, inspiration makes me feel I can conquer everything. I sort of shrug off the doubts and hurdles on the path of my dreams. There is an inner force that sharpens my focus on what is to be done and makes me ignore what cannot be done. Even in the worst of times, an inspired person can see options. They never feel insecure. 2. Selfless Contribution – When I give without expecting anything in turn, I feel ‘powerful’. I feel ‘self worth’. I feel ‘I am good’. There is no possibility of insecurity. There is only ‘My life is worth living’. This makes me search for opportunities to give (When I feel secure, only then I can give without expectations). This is the opposite of ‘I am scared of giving as I may not have enough for me’ (which is insecurity). 3. Improve – Every time I find someone is better than me, I can either feel inferior or I can decide to improve. As I improve I KNOW I am becoming better. This gives me a sense of control over life. Insecurity makes me feel out of control. Hence, improvement is one of the easiest ways of tackling insecurity. After improving, so often I feel it was not worth feeling insecure. I realise this insecurity was a mirage. Ironically, this mirage makes me see what I am capable of. It is a wistful, funny, embarrassing truth and always implementable. 4. Count Your Blessings – This used to be my favorite. There are always some people who are worse off than we are. There are always some people who have much less than what we have got. There are always enough people who are happily willing to exchange what we are complaining about. Yes certainly, things can be better. However, things are already much better than many lives. I used to tell myself, “Don’t be greedy. Be content with what you have. And work harder than ever before to get what you want. Don’t Complain. Don’t Blame. Don’t carry excuses.” It always used to work. It always used to put me in the proper frame of mind to realise, this is indeed the truth. I would then smile, say a sorry to the creator and carry on.” 5. Whole and the role -Ahaa…this is a little mystical one. This is also my current favorite. This is what is working for me ‘big time’ today. I believe all of us are ‘one’. In this oneness, all of us have a role to play. The way the body is one and all the body parts have a role to play, all the parts are different, yet all of them are important. Similarly, each person belongs to the same force, the one force, the ONE. Each one of us have a role to play. Let’s focus on our role and not get conce ed about my role being bigger or smaller. Big or small, the role is important. In being insecure, our focus shifts from our roles to ‘I want that role’. Imagine the tongue wanting the role of the leg and the leg thinking the throat is doing a more important work. There is no iota of truth in that. I am a part of the whole and I will focus on my role. It makes me feel important, valuable and determined. To sum it up, each one of the above points puts you in the zone of ‘peace, self worth and performance’. It makes you realise no one can have it all. It makes you realise, no one ever NEEDS it all. It makes you realise there is so much that can be done with what we have, there is no point in being insecure.Japan with hardly any natural resource is the second biggest economy of the whole world. With no offense to all my friends in Africa, with all the natural resources in the world, their economic and social status today is a tragedy. Be a Japan that we have today, and not the Africa that we have today. With loads of love, prayers and best wishes, Narendra Goidani As I Live, I learn. www.lifeschool.co.in