Many Christians are starting to visit online dating sites like RealChristianSingles.com and ChristianCafe.com. The controversy over whether Christians should date is a hotly debated one, and often leaves Christian singles frustrated and confused. I’ve spent a year on an online dating site researching, experimenting, and following the dating process between people and couples. The conclusion is that online dating is safer, it is a great way to find new friends as well as a companion, and it is a great way to learn more about you.

I was on an online dating site for less than one month before I learned that many people on those sites are not Christian, or their core beliefs are vastly different from our own. Many men think that denomination, location, or career is not important. They assume that you will convert and move to suit their needs. This should be the first question addressed, before you even give the person their name.

One friend found her husband at ChristianCafe.com. They were married a year ago. They discussed these issues of church and location in their first few conversations. In their case, it was agreed that he would move to her country, but she would convert to his denomination. The arrangement worked well for them – but it is rarely an easy solution.

Another problem is the submission issue. Some denominations are very strict on it. Others have adopted the New Testament view. This considers men and women equal, as Christ restored relationships to pre-Garden of Eden status. This is not something you want to compromise on. The strict religions can range from a woman needing her husband’s approval before making a decision to a woman having no voice, rights, or consideration in a relationship.

No picture on the profile. Profiles can misrepresent the people. In fact, there are stories of women who went to meet men, and vice verse, only to find the picture was not of them. But if there is no picture then it speaks of deep rooted self esteem issues, or a fake/scammer’s profile. Scammers are people who come on the site to behave inappropriately, or to get your information to sell to spam lists.

Sex is also an issue. Women need to realize that a large number of men want sex on the first date. This is true on a Christian dating site. It is important to make sure that you let him know your position on an intimate relationship before meeting him. It is very disappointing to arrive at a meeting and find out that he is not interested in you, he just wants sex. While I have no bible based answer on this topic, as a life coach I have to warn women that ‘one night stands’ take more from you than they are worth.

These are just some of the dating tips I’ve posted on online dating. Feel free to follow the other articles on this website that focus on relationships and online dating.

Author's Bio: 

Suzanne James has 10 years experience as an online life coach, using the telephone to facilitate her coaching strategy. Her experience helping clients reset their core values, choose a better mate, adapt to the single's life, and handle post divorce issues is built through personal experience and professional training. There is a wealth of information here, and on her website: http://www.suzannejames.com