Dating Advice for Women Over 40
Itâs safe to say that when youâre over 40, the dating game changes significantly. You arenât imagining it. In fact, the challenges of dating for women over 40 are so specific that getting good advice is critical to finding love with less heartache, pain, and confusion. (Fact: over one-third of Americans over 40 are single, and more than 25 million of them are women.)
As a part of the over 40 category of Dignity Daters, the same dating advice that works for 20 somethings is not always the same advice that youâre seeking. Hereâs why:
Whatever your concerns, here are the keys to Dating with Dignityâs advice for women over 40 in three short but sweet tips!
1. Use your dating experience in an appropriate way.
Whether you recently went through a messy divorce or have had several long-term relationships and are ready for a relationship, you probably have some (if not a great deal) of dating experience. As a Dignity Dater who is over 40, you want to make sure you donât âleakâ any of this energy or knowledge, negative or otherwise, into new relationships you find yourself in.
Itâs fine to remember things youâve learned in past relationships, but it might be a good idea to check with Marni to ensure youâre taking the right stuff with you! Avoiding making assumptions like âIt happened before and therefore must happen againâ can impact all your dating if you arenât armed with a clean slate before you jump into the dating pool.
2. Get yourself out there.
Have your friends been encouraging you to join that online dating site? Well, guess what? One out of every four people who are in a committed relationship or married met their significant others on an online dating site.
Remember that there are tons of good relationship-ready men whoâre going to be interested in you, but you need to meet them first! Joining a Meetup, starting a new fitness routine or creating an online dating site profile are really great ways to meet great men. Hanging out at a bar every Saturday night? Not so good, so get active online and outside.
3. Â Be honest about what youâre looking for.
Hopefully you arenât finding yourself saying things like âThere are no good men out there.â But if you find yourself heading down that path, get yourself in the opposite direction immediately. There ARE so many great guys out there!
Because of the multitude of amazing men just waiting to meet you, donât find yourself compromising Â for someone you think is âalmost good enough.â If someone isnât meeting your needs and you have openly communicated about what those healthy needs are, move on.
On the other end of the spectrum, having a list of things youâre looking for in a man is great. But be sure you arenât checking people off your potential list because theyâre missing something like âdresses well all the timeâ or âcooks like a gourmet chef.â Ultimately, getting stuck in âlackâ mentality will keep you feeling disempowered and stuck.
Remember, once you feel confident and know that youâre worthy of an amazing man, amazing men will become magnetized to you. Paradoxically, when you think you have to settle, you attract men who you feel are just âgood enough.â Get out of this vicious cycle and dig deep to find your âinner awesomeâ so you can get exactly what you want out of love in your forties.
The most important tip for women over 40 is this: remember to have fun. You know what you want, you know yourself, and you know what youâre looking for in a partner. If you donât and think you might need a little help with clearing that up, consider taking the D-Factor dateability assessment to make sure your midlife love story is epic.
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, has professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). A certified Life Coach through the International Coaching Federation, Battista is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy AssessmentââThe D-Factorââwhich helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are or are not "date-able" and what types of messages they unconsciously broadcast to men based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.