Dealing with idiots is hard. Its one of the hardest areas of my life. Now, before we go any further, yes I realize that seeing someone as an idiot is part of the problem. I am using my phrasing the way I am just because we can all identify with the sentiment. Its has more a draw than “dealing with difficult people”. That’s not what goes through our mind in the moment. What goes through our mind is, “this person’s an idot”. At least, that’s what goes through my mind more often than I’d like to admit.
Its frustrating in part because I know better. I’ve read scores of personal and spiritual development books, listened to hours of audios and attended all types of lectures and one of the theme’s is always something about sensing our connection to other people, speaking to the God within them, speaking to their highest potential, etc. I’ve even mentioned those ideas in my on talks and writings I’m sure, as it really is the most effective approach, but damn is this a hard one to practice! At least it is for me.
When I was only working the business world and not really trying to pursue anything related to personal development, this wasn’t something I was putting as much thought into. If I didn’t like someone I just labeled them an idiot and avoided or ignored them. Now that I am really trying to move my career into more full time teaching and coaching, I recognize my need to put more energy into this area. How can I promote seeing our connection to others, speaking to their highest good, if I can’t consistently do it myself?
So, I am committed to putting more energy into this area. I’m attending a seminar now related to leadership that is designed to help people become more inspiring and effective leaders, and part of its design is to allow for these defects of character to surface…and in my case they are. But at least I am in action and working on trying to get better.
I really do love people and I really do have a passion for helping them make the most of this life. The question is, am I willing to love them through the process? Am I willing to hold up the mirror of their potential to them even in the face of their exhibiting their current hang ups? Am I willing do that not only with people who end up in my immediate life sphere, but with regular random people I encounter who I may initially have distaste for? Can I, in the moment, make the transition from seeing this behavior as who they are to seeing this behavior as just the behavior and speaking only to their potential and not the behavior? Or, phrased another way, can I really love other people?
That’s what I’m working on. Truth be told, I don’t like to admit it, that this is an area that I’d even need to work on at this stage in my life, but, it is. And I’m sure I’m not alone. And if you’ve been battling with being consistently loving, you’re not alone either.
I’d love to hear from any of you with your approaches for being loving and patient toward people that you initially feel are idiots; different approaches you might have for catching yourself in the moment and making that transition to love and patience, or whatever your approach is. I’m sure many of us could benefit from your feedback.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep at it, as I love you people and I want us all to have the happiness and fulfillment we came here to experience and which is available to us all.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
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Chris Connell Inspiration and Personal Development
Inspiration and Personal Development
Next Generation Personal Development Teacher and Maker of Inspiring Stuff
Live in LA
Grew up in South Georgia and then Tallahassee, FL (North Florida)
Age: Early Thirties
Got into personal and spiritual development when I was 22.
Lover of inspirational type programs/music since birth.
Have a background in Advertising/Marketing and Real Estate
Was once a competitive tennis player. Still love the sport.
Love exercise, college football, good coffee, sushi, writing, teaching, inspiring, and exploring.
You can reach me at email@example.com
Yo. I’m Chris Connell. Welcome to my site.
Aight, so here’s the deal:
I grew in a singlewide trailer on a dirt road in rural south Georgia. Parents divorced early. It was basically just me and my mom, who had issues…
Long story short, I endured a lot. There was no one around to talk to, so very early I started asking the big questions: why am I here? (along with “why is this happening to me?”). So I think my search for meaning and purpose started early.
When I was 15 I left my mother to go to Tallahassee, FL to live with a cousin. Shortly after my mother was killed. Shortly after that I was out on my own. I spent the next 18 years in Tallahassee, but the next 5 or so we’re pretty turbulent.
I did well for a while but the trauma of my childhood started to catch up with me. I found drugs and alcohol at 17. Ironically, the same year I would receive the Horatio Alger National Scholarship for “Overcoming adversity and showing diligence and persistence in becoming a future leader of America”.
By the time I was 22 I found myself in trouble with the law…again, this time headed to prison. At the last minute I got a chance to do my time in a treatment center instead. Though I didn’t really want to be there, it was better than prison. And in the end, it probably saved my life. It was there that I got introduced to personal and spiritual development and I started believing maybe i could live a normal life. I got a vision of what I could become, and it was there that my journey started…
Since that time I’ve spent over a decade on my journey of personal and spiritual development. During that time I’ve worked with many people on their journey as well.
I’ve overcome a lot. Character flaws, bad habits, emotional and psychological issues, poor health and fitness and all manner of other obstacle. I put myself through college in a limited access communications school at Florida State University, I worked my way into the Advertising industry, I became Director of Marketing for a Real Estate company and then I started my own real estate company. During that time I got into progressively healthier relationships, quit smoking, learned about health and fitness and generally became a person who is comfortable in his own skin.
During my process of trying to make the most of my life I started having to look again at the big picture, asking some of the big questions. I found that just any ole career didn’t make me happy, regardless of the prestige of the title or the paycheck.
I recognized that I needed to find something that was fulfilling, that this was a key component to creating a life I love to live. Finding Your Purpose that I am referring to, which I call “Your Unique Contribution”. I’ve got a lot of personal experience in this area including a few careers, a couple of cross country moves, and a lot of eyeball time on the ceiling…
Eventually I’ve whittled away at it more and more, and that’s what brings us here…One of the things I figured out along the way is that I love inspiring people to make the most of their life.
I also enjoy sharing my journey with others. I’ve come a long way, but I’m still learning as I go. I still have my breakdowns in different areas. I know by now that’s all part of the journey, but it makes it much more meaningful when I’m able to share it with others. Helps us both know we’re not alone, and allows us to help each other.
When you add a bunch of experience in overcoming obstacles, a love of inspiring and teaching personal development, and a desire to share my experiences with others a site like this is natural outcome. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave your comments liberally, I need them. And feel free to contact me anytime.
Oh, and if you’d like to work with me as a coach or have me as a speaker at your next event just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org