Dear Dr. Romance:
Thank you for such a wonderfully positive article on "generation-gap" relationships. I just finished reading "What's Behind the Trend of Women Dating Younger Men?". Although I am in a gay-relationship, I read the article with enthusiasm and found it gave me reassurance and hope. I am over sixty and have been dating a man who is thirty. This is a FIRST for me. I have never been involved with a younger man and have always avoided the possibility for allowing it to happen. I have been perplexed by the positive aspects of this new relationship. Interestingly, apprehensiveness and anxiety have evolved into mutual trust, respect, admiration and the relationship continues to grow. It is exciting yet comfortable; perplexing yet calming. Joy and serenity seem to be going hand in hand.
The relationship began with total honesty on both parts and discussion and communication have been vital factors in moving ahead. Naturally, I found your article very supportive of the feelings so far established. I am finishing a career and he is just finishing an MBA and headed for a wonderful career. Much to my surprise age has been discussed but has not been a negative issue, nor do we see it becoming one. Yes, we have discussed my age and physical maturity, but we see each other as true equals.
Can you suggest any of your books or any others that might help us on this pathway that is new to both of us. We feel we have a solid begining and a hopeful future. Before I order your book on Gay Relationships, will it help us deal with the generational aspect? I would be grateful for any recommended materials you might suggest.
Thanks again for your wonderful article. Is it possibly the begining of a new book? If so, please include the gay aspect of generational-gap relationships.
Congratulations on your relationship! I do recommend Gay Relationships: How to Find Them, How to Improve Them, How to Make Them Last. It will take you through every stage of your relationship, and give you very useful tools for solving problems, keeping intimacy alive, and handling transitions. Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences is a newer book, inclusive of all differences, and will help you keep your honesty and openness going.
For low-cost counseling, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for LoveForever.com, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.