Dear Dr. Romance:

I am a 49 year old disabed vet, chest injury in pain 24/7. I am on MAJOR pain pills.  Have not had sex with wife since one day I pulled her pants down and found a river of a substance that looked like human ejaculate but smelt like beer. Six months later she said it was a female discharge, I have checked with three nurses all have said it had to be ejaculate.

We sleep on a king size bed never touching unless she tries to push me out. About a yr ago 'while she was sleeping' she grapped my penis and YANKED it till it went popping noise then she said worthless and rolled over and started snoring again. Since that moment I have not been able to ejaculate. I can still get a little hard but then have to pee. Any advise?  We have two grown kids.

Dear Reader:

I'm sorry to hear about your pain and injury. I hope you will go to the Veteran's Administration for help. I can read signs of post-traumatic stress in what you write.

Your relationship with your wife sounds way too hostile. No healthy sex can happen in such an angry atmosphere.  I have no way of judging what's real in what you're telling me, and what's your displaced anger from your pain and trauma. Please contact the Veteran's Administration and tell them you think you have PTSD.

They know a lot more about how to help you than they did when you were injured. In the meantime, you'll get some help from  "Anger Management" "Drama, Trauma, and Time Travel" "From Struggling to Solving" and What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?   Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage to learn better relationship skills, 

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.