Dear Dr. Romance,
I just wanted to express to you how I thoroughly enjoyed your article about how there should be a tennis match type of communication. The guy I like hasn't been responding when he usually responds and though he's a busy professional, I get upset that he hasn't been responding at all.
I let a few days go by and have expressed to him how much I miss being intimate with him. Usually, he's so happy and responds immediately (he gets happy & excited), but now I really worry. I worry because I met him through my co-worker, which happens to be an ex-girlfriend of his and ever since I have stopped talking to her, he's stopped communicating with me. I sensed she was jealous because they are the same culture/nationality and she'd make a comment like "You should date within your culture" (which I think is very racist)
Anyways, to make a long story short, I have not heard from in ages and my heart is in so much pain. I sent him 3 emails recently tonight and hope I can give him the space needed to respond appropriately. I honestly love him, but I am so deprived of the affection and attention I used to get from him. I haven't heard from him since late June (we played phone tag) and am scared of losing him forever. Any specific advice??? How long should I give him to respond before completely losing hope? He said we'd get together once he got back from his vacation and I haven't heard from him since!
Thank you so much! I have been seeing a therapist trying to work things out on my own. I am a 29-yr-old young professional, cute, hard working, and go on many dates, but I just haven't felt any desire or attraction with any of the guys I've met and miss this person VERY MUCH. I'm so stressed I am getting zits on my face, which is rare. I can literally say that I am almost at a depression, because life just gets boring when you can't be with someone you truly like.
I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for everything and I hope I can learn some words of wisdom from you.
I'm so glad you liked the article, and I hope you'll follow the advice. Three e-mails in one night without a response? That's not a tennis match approach at all. That kind of neediness will surely drive a man away. I don't think this man is interested in you, or he would be contacting you. Please let him go. You need to go find a partner who can actually care about you. If you're interested in more articles, "Letting Go Takes Love" will help you let go of this uncaring man, and "Where is Love?" will show you how to get more friends and a new man who really cares about you. Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences has the information and exercises you need to change your relationships and attract someone good for you.
For low-cost counseling, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for LoveForever.com, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.