Dear Dr. Romance:

I really need your help. Could you please recommend one  of your books for myself. I grew up in a home with a mother who was famous for saying hateful things that she didn't mean when she was mad. Lately I am doing the very same thing. I am newly married and I love my husband very much, but when I get mad or I don't get my own way I tell him I want out of the marriage and that I want a divorce. He is really getting tired of this and I am afraid that eventually I will lose him. Please can you help me.

Dear Reader:

Yes, the book that will be the most help to you is It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction  You're right that this needs to be fixed now.  It's not surprising that you revert to doing what your mother did.  We all tend to repeat what we know, and the word "familiar" comes from family.You get scared when something happens, and you revert to old patterns. It Ends With You will show you how to recognize old family patterns, identify them, and then create better role models to follow.  You can also use the following articles from my website, which will help you begin to change your behavior:"How Not to Fight", "Handling Anxiety Effectively", "Fair Fight Guidelines" and "Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane?" 

IEWY new cover

For low-cost counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.