Dear Dr. Romance:

I am in my late sixties, and I . For over the past 14 months I was in a very loving, intimate relationship with a man in his mid thirties.  It has ended because I could not let go of the age issue in my mind. We live in different states and we traveled back and forth to be with one another.  I sabotaged the relationship because I was afraid...no other reason. I raised walls; he kept climbing over them, but I could not accept his friendship/love. Soon he could take no more.We went our separate ways in a few months ago. I was a fool. Would it have lasted? Who can tell, but now Iwill never know...nor did I have him longer to enjoy him for whatever time remained to us. Tell women to forget the age...if it works; it works until it is over...that is true at any age. 

Dear Reader:

I'm sorry for your loss.  I agree that there is way too much focus on age.  I think, if both people are adults, what's important is that the relationship works.  Have you told him that you realize you were wrong? 

You're right that it may not have lasted, but none of us can predict the future, no matter how solid love seems to us.  I hope other women learn from your experience, and I hope you will focus on making your life the best it can be, right now.  My article, "Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends" will help you pick up the pieces and move on. The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty will help you reassess and reanalyze your life, and choose the options that will make you happy.

After Forty
 
 

For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.