Dear Dr. Romance: I'm afraid the age difference means our relationship won't work

By Dr. Romance

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Dear Dr. Romance;

I read your article about Older Women Dating Younger Men I am dating a man who is 22 yrs, younger than myself. He appeared older and I appeared younger to him. Now I'm afraid the age difference means our relationship won't work. Would you be able to help me with this dilemma?

Dear Reader:

I'm not sure why the age difference is a dilemma. Whether or not a relationship is healthy is not determined by age differences, but by the interaction between the partners. A ten-year difference is not too difficult to bridge, but differences of twenty years or more in age can lead to some difficulties as the partners get older. For example, the younger partner may mature and reconsider his or her choices, or an older partner may confront aging problems much sooner.

As long as both parties are adult, and the couple have talked about the age difference and the future possibilities, I don't make judgments about their ages. There are healthy and unhealthy reasons to date someone of a different generation. One motivation for dating a younger person that usually isn't successful would be fear of aging on the older person's part. Obviously, a man or woman who dates someone as young as his or her children is going to run into some social opposition, but the differences that can cause the most problems are differing maturity levels. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again will help you resolve this issue, and the articles "Creating Family Acceptance" and "How to Be Irresistible to Your Mate" will help you deal with other people's opinions and create a wonderful, lasting relationships.