The approach and actual anniversary day of the death of someone loved and lost, brings to the surface an unsettling sea of emotions. As a therapist and life coach who provides bereavement and grief counseling, and someone who has experienced death at an early age, understanding grieving and loss is a subject near and dear to my heart.
I had a recurring dream as a child that thieves broke into our apartment, snatched my mother, and threw her out of my bedroom window while I watched stunned, and paralyzed with fear. I think the sentiment and symbolism of this dream is clear from a child and adultâs perspective. Death often feels like abduction and reconciling feelings of helplessness, abandonment, loneliness and heartbreak, are all sensitive hot spots especially as the death anniversary nears.
I remember feeling afraid to speak about my mother after she died. I was told it was better to not to dredge up sad memories. I stuffed down a lot of pain. Perhaps it is not surprising to learn that changing attitudes towards illness, dying and death was the subject of my Masters thesis. Over the years Iâve read and relish religious traditions that honor the spirit of the deceased. Although it strays from my religious upbringing I embrace the concept that the spirit lives on. My favorite celebration is the Mexican holiday El Dia de Los Muertos; The Day of the Dead. People believe the gates of heaven open so the spirits including pets can return and visit their families. The families prepare food and special altars and have a big procession to the cemetery where they play music, dance, and eat. It seems joyful and cathartic and shortens the distance between the departed and the living.
I am inspired to write this blog after a recent visit with a friend who was feeling depressed because March 4th is the day her husband died seventeen years ago. She was seven months pregnant with their first and only son. I met D when our boys were in the first grade. Each year as this date approaches I get a sense that her husband is close by. Maybe itâs just wishful thinking but this year D shared two amazing incidents that sheâs never told me. She has permitted me to share them.
Shortly after her husbandâs death she was sitting on the bed with her sister. A streak of light flashed in front of them illuminating the room. The odd thing was that there was no reflection of this light in the mirror that they were facing. And then one year on her sonâs birthday a balloon came loose from a cluster. It floated and hovered over their son. That seemed reasonable but then it moved and hovered over D, her mother, and finally her sisterâ¦
Has anything unusual happened to you after the death of a loved one? I wrote about my television turning on independently shortly after my aunt diedâ¦
The following story is one of the most profound readings I have done.
A man in his sixties Iâd say, came to see me. I was surprised that he wanted a session because he looked very conservative and traditional. But as soon as he approached me I felt a connection with him. He told me that heâd come to the store (where I consult on Fridays) the previous day, saw my professional brochure and knew I was the person he was supposed to speak with. He returned this day to meet me. It was the first time heâd had a psychic reading. I took his hands, closed my eyes, and heard the following:
âThis man has lost someone near and dear to him. This man has recently lost his wifeâ. And for the first time in all my years of channeling I heard another voice, the voice of another woman who said, âNo I am not your better halfâ! When I opened my eyes his eyes were filled with tears. âWould you like me to continueâ I asked? âYes please continueâ he said. âThis place holds special meaning for you and your wife. I see you placing a bench with her name somewhere along the coast facing the ocean. There is a special place that had great meaning for both of you.â âIs this accurateâ I asked? âYes, my wife died a year ago. We loved coming to Carmel. I am traveling with my son and my daughter will join us today. We are going to have a private memorial for her. My daughter suggested we place a bench with her name in our special spot, and we are going to purchase the bench and do this. I feel my wife had guided me to find you. I feel she is with us. Thank you so muchââ¦
If you have a story or comments youâd like to share feel free to email me: email@example.com
And if you are feeling at a loss and want help sorting your feelings you can
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âFine-tuning your intuition safeguards your future and opens doors to the extraordinaryâ. Stephanie Rachel Alt
Stephanie Rachel Alt, holds a Masters degree in Counseling/Human Development from Bank Street College of Education, New York, NY. She is also Master Certified in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (N.L.P.) and hypnosis. Stephanie teaches her clients to use âintuitive intelligenceâ, logic and reason, in daily life and decision making. She created âOf 2 Mindsâ Coaching and Consulting services, to offer these services; intuitive readings, intuitive coaching, conscious communication & NLP techniques. Stephanieâs work experience includes leading NLP training seminars, for NLP Co-founders, John Grinder, and Judith Delozier. She is also a contributing author in an NLP casebook; Leaves Before The Wind. She currently resides on the Central Coast, in California, where she maintains an office. Working with individuals, couples, families, and groups you can consult with Stephanie in person or conveniently by phone and online.www.of2minds.com