Wouldn't it be great if you could instantly read men? So far, there isn't any super-power for that. And wouldn't it be great if there were Santa Claus men who are bigger than life--and who can satisfy your every whim and need. Uh-oh, it might seem that there are enough of these kinds of men, but be careful what you wish for. Here are some tips about reading men so that you don't mistake gift-givers from gift-takers.
1. Take your time to observe. Observe obvious things such as violating your space by touching you before you know each other. Controlling men are often seductive men. Women allow them to move into their space because, well, these men are so good at sensing which women are willing seductees. Don't be fooled by good looks and charm.Other things to observe are his hands. Do the hands of the man fidget?
Pay attention in this cartoon to how Nick has placed one arm. Ooops--it seems to be resting on the small of Cookie's back. These seemingly "gallant" gestures, when done too often or too boldy, do NOT indicate that the man is a gentleman. Instead, it reveals his need to keep his woman as the "Little Lady." These men are often potential cheaters!
2. Don't get desperate and be fooled by the comparative trap. It's wise to pass up some men. But if you are on a mission to find a man, you might choose a man "by default." When other men are clearly wrong, a more normally-appearing Mr. Wrong seems like a good choice.
3. Practice. It takes practice, practice, practice to learn to read body language. Keep up your observations when you go on dates. Test the correctness of your observations by going out again.
Dr. LeslieBeth (LB) Wish is a nationally recognized therapist and researcher, honored for her work with women and their relationship, family and life issues. The National Association of Social Workers has selected her as one of the top fifty social workers who is making a contribution to the field. She is on the Advisory Board and writes features for qualityhealth.com, a top ten health website, in affiliation with WebMD. She also writes regularly for other top websites. Her own website/blog, lovevictory.com, has been included in the Top 101 Blogs to Watch and The Top Fifty Mommy Blogs. She is an Official Guide to Family on www.selfgrowth.com and is finishing up research for her next book on the relationship problems of today's strong women. Join her research! Go to her website and click on the Research Box in the upper right. You will be linked to a confidential online survey.