What are you attracting into your life?
Do you ever tell yourself, or have the inner belief that you âjust have bad luck?â
I have a former client who has this belief and you would not believe the things that happen to her. It seems sheâs constantly falling down, breaking things, stepping on glass or having some kind of accident in her life. Falling down stairs is a regular occurrence in her life. And sheâs always saying, âthatâs just my luck.â
For me, formerly, it was more subtleâ¦
I was attracting not-so-great guys. You know the kind. Not bad guys. Not the kind of guys who were holding up banks in their spare time, justâ¦ not great guys.
I had an inner belief that all the good guys were taken. Oh, the roots were deep and there was lots more to it than that. The thing about this kind of stuff is that itâs subtle. Itâs been around for awhile and you may not even realize you have these beliefs.
Do you have any patterns like this in your life?
Maybe you feel like you keep dating the same guy in a different body?
Or maybe youâre like my former client and bad things seem to just gravitate toward youâ¦
You may not recognize it at first, because like I said before, many times this stuff has been with us for so long, we donât even recognize it anymore. The good news is, you donât have to see the big picture so much as you just need to know what you want. And from there, you can start changing things around.
You see, there actually IS a scientific explanation for this phenomenonâ¦
Itâs called the âReticular Activating Systemâ or âRAS.â What the RAS does, is take your subconscious beliefs, whether theyâre true or not, and give you evidence of your belief.
Itâs part of our mammalian brain and is believed to control waking, sleeping and what we focus our attention on. It is said to block out around 99% of what we consciously notice.
Are you beginning to see where Iâm going with this?
My friend recently told me a story about a video she saw, which is no longer published due to some copyright stickiness, but I really want to share this story with you. So youâll just have to take my (and her) word for it. I know, I know! Itâs a lot to ask, huh?
It was a video of a room full of people, half of whom were dressed in white and half in black, throwing a ball back and forth to each other. The challenge of the video was to focus your attention on how many times a person dressed in black handled the ball during the video. The challenge was heightened by the announcer saying that around 80% of viewers get it wrong.
After the video played through, the announcer asked the viewers about the gorilla in the room. My friend was astonished. She hadnât seen a gorilla, so she played the video through again. Sure enough, there was a man dressed as a gorilla right in the middle of all the action, throughout the entire video. And she hadnât even noticed it. Because she was focused on the ball. (She played the video back a few times to make sure it was the same video â and it was).
You see, the RAS is responsible for keeping our brains from being overwhelmed. for example, have you ever been in a busy, noisy airport terminal with all kinds of noise going on that you never really register â until you hear your name or flight number?
Thatâs RAS in action.
For me, I noticed that lately thereâs a lot of, âI canât do this becauseâ¦ blah, blah, blahâ¦â It was completely subconscious and, wellâ¦ now itâs not. Whatâs the solution?
Ask yourself a better question. For me, itâs âHow can I?â
Itâs the RASâs job to bring to your consciousness what youâre looking for. So if you start asking, âHow can I (fill in the blank here)â youâll start seeing things you never noticed before. Because now that your RAS knows itâs important to you, it will start drawing your attention to ways to make it happen.
But Be Carefulâ¦It Works Both Ways!
Does my former client's belief that she has bad luck bring all the bad things that happen to her conscious attention, or is she drawing bad things in because of the simple law of attraction? That's an article for another day.
What I do know, is that when I was stuck in âthere are no good guysâ belief, that's what I saw everywhere I looked. Once I changed that inner belief, I started seeing good guys everywhere I looked. That's because I programmed my RAS to look for something different.
There's an easy way to do this. Start asking a better question.
As Tony Robbins so succinctly put it, if you ask yourself, âHow come I canât lose weight?â Your brain will say, âbecause youâre a pig.â
When you start asking a better question, however â for example, âHow can I lose weight and have it be an enjoyable experience?â your brain just might remind you that back in the day, you used to love playing racquetball.
Since âHow can Iâ¦â will be a new question for your brain to process, it might take awhile for it to give you the answer, but if you focus your attention on a better question, youâll start noticing the gorilla in the room.
Merry Wise is a Women's Empowerment and Life Success Coach specializing in teaching life/work balance for greater joy in life and feminine/masculine balance for more joy in relationship.