So who cheats more, men or women? This is a popular and controversial question. There aren't any exact statistics available on this, and the numbers would surely be innacurate, anyway. This is because when it comes to people admitting their cheating in polls and surveys, men tend to inflate their number of affairs and sexual partners, while women tend to hide or downplay the extent of their extramarital affairs.
According to a poll conducted by WomanSavers.com, over 62% of women think that men
cheat more than women. This isn't surprising -- because most of the voters were men!
Naturally, women believe that men do most of the cheating, while men will argue at
women cheat "just as much as they do."
Is this really true? Some experts say that these days, women and men do cheat in equal numbers. The difference is that men who cheat tend to be more "serial" about it -- they cheat with a variety of sexual partners. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to get into a longer-term extramarital relationship.
Decades ago, men surely did most of the cheating because they had far more opportunities to do so. It is true that most affairs begin in the workplace, and back then, men were the only ones that HAD a workplace to go to. Women stayed at home and took care of the kids and the household.
Today, of course, men and women are both in the workplace and interacting with members of the opposite sex. Women are spending more time at work with their male colleagues than at home with their husbands. The workplace is also fertile ground for cheating because people tend to leave their grumpy feelings behind when they go to work. At home, people are stressed out over bills, taking care of the kids, and problems with their spouse; when they go to work, they can leave all of that behind.
Also, people tend to look their best at work. They want to look attractive and presentable. In the workplace, men see women -- and women see men -- in their best
light." It's not the same when they're at home, lounging around in a pair of sweatpants.
According to a survey, 46 percent of unfaithful wives and 62 percent of unfaithful
husbands have had affairs with someone they met at work. So you see, cheating at the workplace is a very big problem -- and it's happening with both men and women.
Another interesting statistic shows that the more money a husband has, or earns, the more likely he is to cheat on his wife. Having cash enables a man to travel, to join clubs, and to take time off from work. It also enables him to purchase gifts for other women, or pay for hotel rooms and travel when they want to get together.
Men who don't have much money tend to spend more time and attention on their families.
They have less time alone (which could otherwise be spent pursuing women), and they lack the funds to carry on affairs or take care of a mistress. But, this is not to say that the Average Joe who earns a regular wage is not going to cheat. Many of these guys do cheat, they just tend to have a harder time covering their tracks -- and they often get busted.
Through my research, I've also found that most men who cheat aren't looking to get
involved in long-term "affairs" with one woman. In America, it's not common for
cheating men to keep a mistress on the side. It's much more likely that they are
pursuing casual sex with different women, and one-night stands.
The other big question people ask is WHY men cheat, versus why women cheat. Do men and women stray for different reasons? The common assumption is that men are ruled by their sex drives and cheat mostly for sexual gratification, while women cheat when they feel emotionally neglected.
Well, my research has shown that "neglect" is the operative word in MOST cheating situations. When men feel neglected, they cheat. When a woman feels neglected by her husband, she'll be open to offers from other men. This neglect can come in many forms -- in the bedroom, or simply not taking an active interest in your partner's feelings and being emotionally supportive when they have troubles.
The reason why infidelity is so common in our society is that too many people place more value on their careers, children, hobbies and friends than they do on their relationships with their partners. When you neglect your relationship and your partner, it's may be only a matter of time before they start looking for happiness elsewhere. No one wants to feel neglected.
The bottom line is this: if you want to avoid becoming yet another infidelity statistic, you must nurture your relationship on a daily basis and pay attention the warning signs, before it's too late.
Dean Cortez is the author of numerous popular books on relationships and dating. His latest program, "Cheat Proof," shows men and women how to catch cheating in their relationships, and more importantly, how to prevent cheating from ever happening in the first place. The Cheat Proof program contains not only a book, but also hours of fascinating audio interviews with many notable experts, including top private investigators who have worked thousands of infidelity cases. For more information, go to the How To Catch Cheating website.