Is it possible to get back together after a break up? Yes. Is it possible to get back an ex after along period of time apart? Yes, absolutely.
But not everyone gets back with their ex. Each relationship is different and each couple is different. Some relationships have a better foundation and others were nothing but a series of one night stands. Some relationships have nothing except assumptions, neediness and stress, and others were great relationships that ended because of a simple misunderstanding or miscommunication.
Over the years, I've identified some obvious indicators of whether two people will get back together or not, and how soon.
1. How long were you in the relationship?
People whove been in a relationship for a longer period of time tend to stand a better chance because of the bond created over time.
2. How serious was your relationship?
If you have both introduced each other to your closest friends/family and if their reaction was positive, the encouragement (or pressure) from your social support networks often works to your advantage. The opposite is also true.
3. Why did you break up?
This one is a big one. Some reasons for a break-up are easily reconcilable and others are deal breakers. The deal breakers often include: no feelings of attraction, feeling that the relationship is wrong or that the other is not the right person, conflict in life styles and goals etc.
4. How did you break up?
People who consider their break up mutual or amiable are more likely to keep in touch than where a break up was nasty. They are also more likely to remember and reminisce on the positive things about the relationship, what could have been done better etc. This may lead to wanting to try and see if they can do it better.
5. What changes has each made since breaking up?
Unless an ex believes the relationship will be different/better than what he/she walked away from, they see no point in getting back together.
6. Is your ex seeing/dating someone else?
If your ex is with someone else, he or she may not be in a hurry to get back together because s/he wants to see if the other relationship offers more. A lot depends on whether you can show him/her that what you offer is better.
7. Where is a relationship in the list of his/her priorities?
After a break-up most people tend to pour all their time and energy onto something else e.g. personal development, spiritual pursuits, career, hobby, social networking etc. These can become attractive alternatives and will require more effort and resourceful on your part to be able to inject yourself into your exs new life.
8. What have you tried doing to get your ex back?
Some things people do to try to get their ex back actually make it impossible to get an ex back. They either confirm what the ex does not want about you or brings out the worst in you that your ex did not even know existed.
9. Geographic proximity
Men and woman in long distance relationships may face additional relationship uncertainty which may influence the desire to try again or thwart attempts to make it work. On the other hand, distance if used correctly is a positive ingredient for starting a fresh.
10. Ability to handle uncertainty
Vague statements, conflicting signals and shifting positions often get many people so stressed out that they start acting in counter-productive ways. Men and women who are better able to detect (sometimes it is just your gut instinct), the inconsistent or contradicting information or signals from an ex and use that to elicit cooperation have a better chance of turning things around.
These are just the common indicators. Like I said, each relationship is different and each couple is different. With a little careful planning, a good strategy, patience and consistency, most situations can be turned around.
About Author: Internationally renowned Dating & Relationships Coach, Christine Akiteng has devoted years of her life re-uniting couples and has seen over and over again first hand what works. She has woven together solid-gold advice on just about every stage of getting back together with your ex to help you make the process less scary and shaky and more exciting and smooth as possible.
Christine's main website: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com