We all want to be loved. However for many achieving happiness within a healthy relationship has escaped us. Many of us have spent most of our lives in relationships that were co-dependent and needy, but did involve huge life lessons and karma. Knowing that each relationship we experience brings us further along our path of evolution and should not be considered a mistake. Sometimes we wonder what on earth we were thinking when we married an individual or asked them to move in with us. If we were able to be a Monday morning quarterback and see where the relationship would end up, we could have side-stepped all that pain and suffering. But would we have gotten the lesson?
Through pain and suffering we learn more about the depth of our soul and our own individual issues. We also uncover our courage, intestinal fortitude and patience. All is not lost. Knowing we learned something more about ourselves and grew as a result is only part of the lesson. Learning what we want in a life partner is a skill that is honed through time, experience and sometimes excruciating pain. In this process of ending a relationship we also learn what we don't want to experience again. Through pain, we grow. We find our true selves in the process. Applaud your courage to move forward and seek better for yourself. There is always a silver lining in the ending of a relationship. Rather than looking at how much time we wasted with a person, think of this time as an investment into your life education. I call it "The Fire Walk of Life."
Sometimes we seem to move backward in our evolution. We go from bad to worse, picking someone who hurts us or treats us badly after declaring to the Universe that we absolutely are ready for a healthy relationship. This happens when we are still in denial about ourselves and not living fully in integrity. Working with my clients on healing the past is paramount to help people move out of abuse, co-dependency and addiction. Coming from a place of complete self-acceptance and self love is paramount. How can you love another when you don't love you? It is impossible. You might think you can love, but it is not real love. You will wake up one morning and feel that the other person does not love you. You will be unable to feel their love. It will not last. Giving too much is not healthy love either. It is needy love and will not last. Until you love every aspect of yourself you are wasting your time looking for true love. Self acceptance and unconditional love means to love yourself even though you are not perfect. When will we be perfect? NEVER! Get over it. Accept yourself as you are now. Honesty and trust are the foundation for a healthy relationship. If we are not completely honest with ourselves, others will lie to us and we will continue to deny the truth even when it is right in front of our faces. Often we think we are honest, when we are still in denial.
Moving Beyond Denial
Once you get beyond denial having done your healing work with a practitioner, and you have come to a place of loving and accepting yourself unconditionally you do have the ability to have true love. Coming to a relationship already full, complete within yourself, happy with who you are you can then love another. When you accept yourself completely then you can love another unconditionally, loving and accepting a partner as they are without wanting to change them or make them a project. True love or real love means you accept another as they are without addiction, co-dependency and neediness.
Feeling as if you need to have someone in your life to feel happy and fulfilled is unhealthy and needy. To get to the place of loving acceptance of your self; you need to work to clear your issues. There are many ways to clear patterns and lift your veils, a hypnotherapist or good energy healer can help you through your clearings. Feeling your emotions fully and taking responsibility for your own actions without being a victim is key for your healing. I highly recommend you read my book, Odyssey Victim to Victory which will help to catapult your healing. Clearing patterns and veils is what I do through accessing your Akashic Records.
Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, hypnotherapist, certified relationship and dating coach. Her expertise is in self love. She assists people to overcome abuse, addictive and co-dependent relationships.
She is able to help people move out of the past and heal patterns and limiting beliefs as well as lifting the veils that keep people where they are.
Her book Odyssey Victim to Victory is an inspirational and transformational book which helps to catapult you forward on your healing journey.