I’ve done it myself. I’ve seen women do it after a week. It feels like the right thing to do, the easiest thing to do, yet it’s actually self-sabotaging and risky. The “thing” I’m referring to is jumping into a relationship with someone too soon - - putting all your eggs in one basket.
Have you ever met someone and after one or two dates you felt like there was a potential for him to be your soul-mate so you stopped responding to anyone else who was interested in you? If so, you’re risking your ability have a loving, lasting relationship with the right man.
It takes time to develop a loving and lasting relationship. If you give yourself lots of time to get to know someone as a friend first (before romance) you’ll be able to:
Keep your options open. If you’re just friends, you can be friends with as many men as you like without jeopardizing a relationship with any of them.
Build a solid foundation of trust and mutual respect.
Your physical requirements for a partner become more relaxed if you focus on getting to know the inside of a person first. For example, rather than immediately dismissing someone because he’s shorter than you, you open yourself up to being friends with him and see how the friendship develops.
You will spot red flags easier. When your mind becomes clouded by the emotions of a sexual relationship, you can easily ignore the things about your partner that oppose your values and that will inevitably appear in the relationship. Not spotting red flags early on can lead to heartbreak later on.
You do more fun things. Being friends is not about the candlelight dinners or hot tub make-out sessions. It’s about doing things like going to movies, museums, art exhibits, and hikes. It allows you to enjoy the companionship of another person without the drama of sexual performance.
So, the bottom-line is to take things slowly and see if you really want to be friends with a man before you begin the romance.
Elizabeth Golembiewski is a professional Relationship and Dating Coach and the founder of http://womenfindingtruelove.com, creator of the Five-Step Soul Mate Attraction Plan and the True Love Toolkit. Elizabeth’s proven approach to dating and relationships was shaped by overcoming her own relationship challenges. The tools she used grow her current relationship are the same tools she teaches in her workshops, tele-classes and with individual clients around the world.
Elizabeth's formal training includes Christian Mickelson's Coaching Academy, a BLS & Conflict Resolution Certification from St. Edward's University, and Feng Shui Certification from the Feng Shui Research Center.