Duties of Father of the Groom: Etiquette FAQ
When your son gets engaged, a number of questions run through your head. Especially if this is your first child to be married, you might not know exactly what you do during wedding planning, what pre-wedding parties you should attend, or what to wear on the wedding day. This article should shed a little light on some of your questions about your role in your child’s wedding.
What Wedding Costs Am I Responsible for Paying?
The most burning questions for most parents is: who pays for what? Tradition dictates that the costs for the wedding and reception fall on the bride’s family, but many couples share the cost between families. In other words, anything goes. So you need to talk about it and find out how you’d like to divvy things up.
What Is My Role in Wedding Planning?
If you are the father of the groom you can largely take it easy during wedding planning. Just be there for your son and let him know you’re there to help. Traditionally, the groom is responsible for arranging wedding transportation and planning the honeymoon – so he might ask you to help in those areas. You will also be in charge of reserving hotel rooms for out-of-town family members coming in for the wedding, speaking with the father of the bride, and buying a tux or suit for yourself.
Do I Go to the Bachelor Party?
A bachelor party is the groom’s “last chance” to just have fun with his friends as a single guy, so it’s more typical for him to celebrate it with his peers only. Inviting dads is more of an exception to the rule, so don’t be offended if you aren’t invited.
Do LDS Temple Weddings Involve a Rehearsal Dinner?
If the ceremony takes place inside the temple, there will be no rehearsal, but many families choose to go out to dinner together to celebrate the night before the wedding as a nice gesture, anyway. The groom’s family typically pays for the dinner.
What is my role during the LDS Temple Sealing?
If the ceremony takes place inside the LDS Temple, and you are a member, you may likely be asked to be a witness for thier Temple Sealing. If so, ensure that the sealer knows this information, so there won’t be confusion later on.
What Is My Role at the Reception?
At the reception, the fathers of the groom and bride are the hosts. You should make it a point to greet each guest, chatting with the ones you know and introducing yourself to the ones you don’t. Traditionally, you will sit at the designated parents’ table at the reception. Fathers typically are asked to make a toast or speech, so you may want to check out the how-to-give-a toast section.
What Do I Wear for an LDS Wedding?
The father of the groom at a Mormon wedding will wear a tux or suit for a formal event. The old policy of temple sealing guests wearing their temple clothes has changed. Now when you attend a temple sealing, you simply wear your Sunday best dress clothes inside.
There are lots of questions for the father of the groom, especially now that tradition is more of a guideline than a hard-and-fast rule. This article provides a start, but open communication with your son and your future daughter-in-law is the key in knowing exactly where you fit into their wedding plans.
Copyright (C)2010 WeddingLDS and Howard Edward Haller, Ph.D.
Howard Edward Haller, Ph.D. is a Professional Keynote & Motivation Speaker (on Leadership and Intrapreneurship), University Professor & Trustee, and Published Author of Two Books. Dr. Haller has held leadership positions at the Ward, Stake and Regional levels in the LDS Church, including having served in two Bishoprics. Dr. Haller is writing on Father & Grooms exclusively for WeddingLDS.com.
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