In his Palace Of Possibilities Series – Using EFT to Achieve One’s Potential, Gary Craig www.emofree.com talks in depth about the “writings on our walls” as a metaphor for our self talk; the attitudes, opinions & beliefs that we have accumulated over the years from our parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, religion, peers, books, TV and an endless list of other "authorities" in our lives, that we use to define ourselves and our self worth. Our self-judgments are a reflection of the accumulated ‘writings on our walls’ both positive and negative.
ERASING NEGATIVE SELF-SCRIPTS
According to Gary Craig,"we all have different words and statements posted on our walls. The "truths" written on your walls are different from the "truths" written on mine. However, what we may have come to believe as “truths” about ourselves may not really be "truths" at all. They are just the guidelines we have adopted for getting through life AND many of them are fictions...our cans and cant's are written on those walls and we obey those dictates as though they were real, without the awareness that they are simply hand-me-down beliefs that were written on our walls by others.”
These “writings” may indeed contain many “negative self scripts” which are the negative statements, negative descriptions, deprecating self remarks, negative attitudes and self-perceptions we hold to be “true” about ourselves, but which only serve to limit our success and happiness and deplete our self confidence.
So before we can become self-affirming, we need to identify and erase the negative beliefs we hold to be true about ourselves. By tapping on your “negative self-scripts” you can clear away a lifetime of accumulated and outdated negative programming and replace it with more positive, life enhancing self-scripts, creating real and dramatic changes in your level of self-confidence.
You can use EFT to identify and release all of your accumulated “negative self-scripts”.
Clearing the negative self-scripts from your “mental closet” can have major implications for your overall mental health and wellbeing.
HOW TO BECOME AN "ESTEEM GENERATOR"
STEP 1: The first step in becoming your own “esteem generator” is to release all of your negative self scripts. Begin by making a list under each of the following categories:
1. Negative beliefs you have about yourself and of which you remind yourself daily. E.g. “I’m a bad mother” “I don’t deserve to be loved” I’m a useless so and so”
2. Negative statements about yourself which sprinkle your everyday conversation. E.g. “I’m not very good at….” “I’m not good with money”
3. Self-deprecating remarks that influence your behavior or beliefs. “I’m a loser” “I’m so stupid” “I’m a failure”
4. Negative descriptions given to you by members of your family of origin or peer group when you were younger onto which you hold even to this day. E.g. “you will never amount to anything” “you’re too big for your boots”
5. Negative feedback you get from your spouse, boss, teacher, colleagues, children, parents, relatives, or others that you take personally and incorporate into your personal belief system. E.g. “You’ll never save up for your own home, the way you waste your money”
6. Negative self-images you have of your body, looks, face, weight, coloring, hair, feet, or other parts of your body, which as you visualize, influence your presentation of self to others. “I hate my fat thighs” “I’m ugly”
7. Negative assessment you or others have made of your competency, skills, ability, knowledge, intelligence, creativity, or common sense. You have agreed with this internally and, thus, believe it true of you. E.g. “you don’t have the brain for business”
8. Negative stories about your past behavior, failures, or performances that you systematically run over in your mind and which influence your current conduct. E.g. “once a cheater, always a cheater, once a smoker, always a smoker" etc.
9. Negative attitudes about the possibility of your achievement of success in your life; these influence your motivation, effort, and drive for attainment of goals. E.g. “I will never get a promotion/pay rise
10. Negative visualizations you have of your current status or state in life to your personal detriment. E.g. “I’m just a housewife”
11. Feelings of guilt for real or imagined debilitating wrongs you have committed that prevent positive self-valuing thoughts. E.g. “I don’t deserve happiness because I cheated on my ex girlfriend.”
12. Negative prophecies that you or others have made about yourself, your future, your success, your relationships, your family, or your health. E.g. “I’ll never find my perfect partner”
Now that you have created a list of all your negative self scripts, start with the most “highly rated script” or “the most highly charged” belief and apply EFT to each item on your list.
“Even though I’m a bad mother, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”
“Even though I don’t deserve to be loved, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
“Even though I’m not good with money” etc
STEP 2: Counter negative self-scripts and feel better about yourself with these “I” Catching Mirror Exercises!
“I” Catching Mirror Exercise - Self Appreciation Script
Use this exercise if you are feeling generally unloved, unappreciated and unnoticed. Replace the word “nobody” with the name of the person who is making you feel this way.
Standing in front of the mirror, look yourself in the “I” and while rubbing the sore spot or tapping the karate chop repeat the following:
“Even though (nobody) appreciates me, I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love”
“Even though (nobody) loves me, I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love”
Even though (nobody) pays any attention to me, I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love”
EB: Nobody appreciates me
SE: Nobody appreciates me
UE: Nobody appreciates me
UN: Nobody appreciates me
CH: Nobody appreciates me
CB: Nobody appreciates me
UA: Nobody appreciates me
UB: Nobody appreciates me
EB: Nobody loves me
SE: Nobody loves me
UE: Nobody loves me
UN: Nobody loves me:
CH: Nobody loves me
CB: Nobody loves me
UA: Nobody loves me
UB: Nobody loves me
EB: Nobody pays any attention to me
SE: Nobody pays any attention to me
UE: Nobody pays any attention to me
UN: Nobody pays any attention to me
CH: Nobody pays any attention to me
CB: Nobody pays any attention to me
UA: Nobody pays any attention to me
UB: Nobody pays any attention to me
EB: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
SE: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
UE: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
UN: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
CH: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
CB: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
UA: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
UB: I choose to shower MYSELF with adulation and bathe myself in love
Here’s to a new healthier self-esteem!
To learn all the basics of EFT visit www.emofree.com and download the free manual.
Angie Muccillo BA Social Science- Psych/Soc; Cert IV Remedial Massage; EFT-CC EFT-ADV. Angie is an Advanced EFT Practitioner and Complementary Health professional from Melbourne Australia. She publishes a FREE EFT newsletter, MPower News featuring EFT articles, free exercises, tips and resources to help make your load lighter, your heart warmer and your mind freer to enjoy life more fully..Subscribe FREE at www.idealsoulutions.com