In Part Two of this series, "Elevate Your Self-love, Confidence and Personal Empowerment," you gained tips for ending negative comparisons to other people that zap your self-esteem and confidence. You've begun to surround yourself with excellent role models who will inspire you to be Your Authentic Self so you can more easily live the joyful, successful life you deserve. You're now consistently using your innate curious witness to elevate your confidence and delete the harsh self-judgments that previously brought you down. Relationships and communication with "difficult people" have become easier because your self-love has escalated.
Now it's time to ensure that your personal and professional support systems meet your needs. This will help you stop paying attention to invalid external criticism, while you continue to honor constructive feedback, including from true mentors and friends. You'll continue to fine tune how you work with your innate curious witness by gaining the next level in your ability to ask yourself empowering questions. All of this encourages your inner critic to take a very long nap. Let's continue covering the "Ten Tips" that began with Part One of this article series.
8. If you tend to judge yourself harshly when you're in the presence of certain people, how can you boost your confidence in these situations? Begin by making a list of the people who provide you with personal and professional feedback. True mentors and friends bolster your confidence with specific, constructive feedback. Is it time to express your unmet needs when you're working? Is it time to shift one or more "friends" into a list of "acquaintances"? You can remind yourself, "The only opinion I need to truly pay attention to is my own, so it doesn't matter what other people say about me. I'll consider other people's opinions as possibilities instead of facts. Then I'll either prove or disprove them to myself. If criticism is unjust, I'll take it in stride."
9. Gain freedom from your own negative voice by becoming a super observer. Identify assumptions, thoughts, emotions, behaviors and beliefs that precede your inner critic's banter. Own your power for a positive change by jotting down notes and periodically pondering patterns about what causes "I like myself" to transform into "You're not good enough." You'll be thrilled to know that simple self-awareness can cause a major turn around. As long as you don't judge or resist what you learn about yourself, you'll set yourself up for spontaneous positive change. Instead of judging yourself harshly, ask yourself curious questions like, "I wonder how different I'll feel when I allow my old, worn-out pattern to change" and "What's the easiest way to accept myself just as I am right now?"
10. Structure your life for success. If you eat all of your meals on a super-size-me dinner plate and surround yourself with people who unconsciously chow down until they're miserable, you'll probably overeat. If you plan ahead, "I want to eat what's just right for me," you'll select the plate size, mindset and dinner companions that support your objective. Mindfully managing your environment and your internal and external support systems to empower you to befriend your inner critic is a similar process. With awareness and the intention to learn and grow, you'll adore your amazing life and also your body. Your body is serving you 24/7 every day, with very little attention and gratitude. Begin right now to program your life today for happiness, success and a richly rewarding body image.
What would you be doing right now if you were 100 percent in love with your body just as it is, including any bumps, bulges or wrinkles? What if you perceived every painful experience in your life as the perfect opportunity for you to learn what you need to know so you can become Your Authentic Self?
Imagine how fulfilled you'll be when you fully live your life right now instead of waiting for the world to proclaim, "You're finally good enough to enjoy your dreams." Take one step forward now so you can claim an even more authentic, rewarding life. If you run into a roadblock, hire a professional coach to help you gain the bliss of loving the skin you're in.
© 2012. Excerpted with permission from the #1 Bestselling book, "Transforming Pain Into Power" by Doris Helge, Ph.D.
With over 20 years of experience, award-winning, Certified Master Coach Dr. Doris, has a proven track record of helping people like you turn painful events and relationships into personal empowerment. Enjoy life-changing videos at http://CoachingByDoris.com/communication/. Download your free ebooks and see client testimonials at www.FreeJoyEbooks.com. You may reprint this article as long as it remains intact and proper attribution is given.