In Part One of this article series, "Elevate Your Self-love, Confidence and Personal Empowerment," you gained tips for calming your inner critic by noticing it instead of judging it. This automatically freed more energy to enjoy your life because you're no longer battling the critical negative voice that all of us sometimes hear. Instead, you've begun the joyful process of learning how to transform your inner critic into an empowering inner coach that will cheer you toward more success and happiness.
You also began to explore the part of yourself that is a neutral observer. This is your "Curious Witness", fully described in books like "Joy on the Job." In addition, you practiced escalating your confidence, self-respect and self-love by deleting old automatic beliefs that you inherited from parents, teachers and other authority figures. You began to honor Your Authentic Self.
You discovered a new self-acceptance technique and you practiced this powerful new tool. Now you can consistently and effortlessly use your dream time to implant positive thoughts, beliefs and emotions that will make your sleep more restful and each day more positive and productive. No more struggling with affirmations that don't work!
Your relationships and communication with "difficult people" are already becoming easier. Now that you've fully acknowledged your inner critic and it's no longer screaming for your attention, we can take the next steps in your journey to more confidence, self-love and personal empowerment.
Let's continue covering the "Ten Tips" that began with Part One of this article series.
1. Ending the comparison trap takes practice. It's usually a deeply ingrained habit because our left brains are designed to be judgmental, analytical and critical. If your left brain is stubborn and fixates on negative comparisons, compare downward. Each time you notice self-talk like, "Why can't I be like him/her?", find a way to make a compassionate comparison. Example: "I'm glad I don't have as much trouble as ____ does." When you do this, you'll notice how much our negative comparisons sound like the voices of middle-school children struggling to attain status in a group in which every member feels inadequate. What a trap! You'll walk away from negative comparisons and journey into compassion for yourself and other people. You'll remember that we're all students in The School of Life.
2. Select role models who radiate the confidence of being comfortable in their own skin. If you can't identify a real person, invent one. The next time you judge your appearance, imagine walking like your new role model walks and talking like they talk. Practice scenarios in which you respond to any harsh external criticism after reminding yourself, "The person who criticized me is really judging themselves negatively. Because this was uncomfortable for them, they projected their negative self-image onto me. I'll gain freedom and self-empowerment by shifting into the bliss of contentment fueled by compassion."
3. Notice every time you feel so confident that you wouldn't even consider judging your appearance in a negative way. How comfortable are you with this state of self-love, balance and harmony? If you notice that you tend to revert to self-judgment, please don't slow your progress by beating yourself up and sinking back into your "familiar zone." It's just a habit you can overcome. You can also develop a sensation to anchor your positive feelings so you'll be able to recall them at will, any time, any place. If this is difficult for you, seek the assistance of a professional coach.
4. Notice when you're most inclined to judge yourself harshly. For example, you might notice that you were running late, tired or stressed before your inner critic peppered you with negative self-talk. How can you prevent this in the future? What would happen if you spent more time planning ahead and enjoyed more self-care? If your negative voice began to babble because you felt unprepared, what would happen if you elevated your confidence or competency by identifying a new resource or exploring a new success strategy?
Now you're much more self-aware and you've made a firm decision to stop making negative comparisons that deteriorate your confidence. You're going to surround yourself with an excellent support system, including beautiful role models who will inspire you to be Your Authentic Self. You are using your innate curious witness to elevate your confidence and delete harsh self-judgments that plummet your self-esteem. You'll continue to shift your perceptions about "difficult people" and "difficult conversations." You're beginning to truly understand that every unpleasant experience is "just another learning opportunity in The School of Life."
Be sure to read Part Three of this series of articles, posted at http://CoachingByDoris.com/innercriticarticles/. You'll gain even more proven tips that will elevate your confidence, self-love and personal empowerment.
© 2012. Excerpted with permission from the #1 Bestselling book, "Transforming Pain Into Power" by Doris Helge, Ph.D. With over 20 years of experience, award-winning, Certified Master Coach Dr. Doris, has a proven track record of helping people like you turn painful events and relationships into personal empowerment. Enjoy life-changing videos at http://CoachingByDoris.com/videos/. Download your free ebooks and see client testimonials at www.FreeJoyEbooks.com. You may reprint this article as long as it remains intact and proper attribution is given.