We all pick up emotional burdens of varying weights and sizes while growing through life. Many eventually fall by the wayside, some we learn to live with, while others are more like a thorn in one’s heart, or worse, causing enough pain and anguish to impact the quality of life. It is always worthwhile to attempt minimizing or eliminating such emotional impediments to living a happier life, though for many people the need to do so is vital to being able to comfortably move forward in life at all.
Different emotional burdens affect each of us in different ways, and whatever the level of importance for eliminating emotional albatross within your heart, especially those you have lived with for much of your life; is never an easy task or it would have been done already.
Alas, if only getting rid of excess emotional baggage were as easy as dropping it off by the wayside of life and driving away. But take heart, there are things you can do to affect your perceptions of, and thus reactions to, many types of emotional sticking points in your life.
It is easy to assume that certain feelings and perceptions are just a part of who you are and therefore must be dealt with as such. But this type of thinking cedes control over how you deal with certain issues to beyond your immediate purview. It is also primary in keeping you held emotional prisoner to a myth of perception.
Many negative feelings left over from past experiences exist now as static emotional burdens waiting to strike your heart, and nothing will change unless you do something different. One way to begin countering such long held negative perspectives is to attempt seeing them in less intimidating ways so you can emotionally distance yourself from them.
One perspective to consider is that issues haunting you consistently or repetitively are, in essence, “habitual” in nature. Granted, they may seem to be purely reactive matters, but the basis for all habits are repetitive thought patterns and, like regular habits, with enough time and supportive effort, even painful or negative thought patterns can be affected or replaced with more optimistic alternatives ,
Probably the best way to begin altering your perspectives and reactions to negative feelings in general is by improving the view you have of yourself, relative to life and others! Whatever critical or devaluating self-perceptions you may have, minimizing or eliminating them is paramount to your ability to step outside of tenacious, habitual and self-perpetuating thought patterns.
You may also attempt to lessen your perceptions and reactions to emotionally charged issues, including the source, on a very basic level by daily reassessing and undercutting their validity, value and current relative importance in your life. Are they really a necessary component of who and what you are now and where you want to go in life?
In other words, make an honest, solid effort to lessen the priority level within which your pain has found immunity. Root it out by replacing longstanding negative thoughts and reactions with new, more positive and realistic ways of thinking, feeling, acting and reacting to them, to yourself and life in general!
Let there be no mistake, none of these efforts are going to be easy nor will they happen overnight. They will be costly in both time and emotional energy, but then again, what are the costs of continuing to carry life impeding emotional baggage around with you?
Take it a step farther and begin visualizing and doing things more relevant to the unique and special person you are now, not who you used to be, or thought you were. Pursue unfulfilled life intentions, dreams and desires so you can better define who you are and of what you are capable. Take some time and a good honest look at the world around you and pursue hobbies and actions that make you feel good about you. Follow your own heart for a while, uninfluenced by outside sources, for only then will you start creating new memories, experiences and feelings that are genuine and powerful enough to replace the inner demons that no longer have a place in your life!
Define yourself in the past
And you will end up thinking and
Acting that way as a result of
Resurrecting many of the thoughts
And feelings you have since
Outgrown, including old tapes
With damaging messages irrelevant
To who and what you are now
The above quote is from “The Power of Perspective and the Gift of Gratitude. Due out in paperback and e-book/Kindle format on Amazon.com within the next few weeks month or two. Watch for it!
Don Neviaser is a Certified Life Coach and author, utilizing both careers helping people move beyond restrictive mindsets and debilitating self-perceptions to a place of inner unity, appreciation and gratitude for who they are and what they are capable of; all in line with who they really are; their True Self!
He has been writing for 35 years and to date has published 4 self-help books that expound on the power and effectiveness of perspective and an attitude of gratitude in making all the difference between existing or truly living from the heart.