Do you really think you are not good enough? Do you criticize yourself? Do you give yourself a hard time or punish yourself with harsh words or thoughts? Do you beat yourself up when you feel you have done something wrong? Do you get angry at yourself? Do you speak to your friends better than you speak to yourself?
The most common belief I have found in working with people is the fear that ' I am not good enough'. Does this sound like you? If you believe this, ask yourself for whom? And according to whose standards? What aren’t you good enough for?
I am going to suggest that a good practice to do if you have this belief, is to just accept it and love it! Do not try to suppress it or hide it - bring it up to the surface and acknowledge it! We all are not good enough for something! We are only human and therefore we are all imperfect in some way! By accepting that in some areas of your life, you may ‘ not be good enough’ this will prevent you from continuing to feed this part of you negative energy and / or, keep this part hidden behind a persona as you are ashamed of it.
Instead, I ask that you LOVE the part of you which is not good enough! We all have this part of us! If we have a part which is good enough, then we also have a part which is not good enough! Perhaps you could ask yourself how old you were when you first had this thought. It may just be the 3 year old inside of you who is feeling she is not good enough. So, what would you tell a 3 year old who had this belief? You would hold her, nurture her, tell her she is good enough and she can do anything she wants. This is how I would like you to speak to yourself! It may help to get a picture of yourself as a small child and every day, look into her eyes, give her love and nurture her fears.
Also….Try some of the exercises below to give yourself a little more love and acceptance. Clearing out old beliefs is just like clearing out that wardrobe...now you really wouldn't wear that dress / belief you have had for 25 years now would you?
1) Affirm at least ten times a day ' I deserve the best and I accept it now'. Do this looking when you are in the shower - make it easy for yourself!
2) Repeat the following affirmations every day:
• I am willing to release the need to think I am not good enough
• I release the need to criticize myself and others
• I love and accept myself exactly as I am
3) Write a list of the negative messages you may have heard in your childhood. What did you parents say about you? What negative messages did you hear? What did they say about money / your creative talents / love and relationships? What were the limiting or negative beliefs you heard as a child?
Write them all down! Try writing down other negative things you may have heard from relatives / friends / teachers / church etc.
When you have written your list, tear it up into little shreds or burn it. These are old beliefs and they do not serve you anymore! These are old mouldy beliefs! Be willing to let them go.
4) Love the parts of yourself you usually criticize
5) For twenty days, write down twenty things you like about yourself or you have done well during the day. They don't have to be huge things; it could be as simple as you getting to work on time! Self acknowledgement is the key to self love!
6) Ask yourself - How much longer am I willing to suffer? Look at what you need to heal to be able to move on in your life
7) Write a list of all the things you feel bad about. Put a date on when you are going to resolve them. The date may be 5 years in the future, but just writing those down will help you heal and clear these things from your mind. When you have written this list, look at what the lesson was from each situation.
8) At least five times a day, close your eyes and go into your body. Give yourself Love! Hold yourself! Do this for at least one minute, five times a day!
9) Change your attitude about the past. The past is gone and we cannot change it. How silly it is for us to PUNISH ourselves or others for something in the past. Choose to let it go and release yourself from the hurt. Focus on the present moment and looking after yourself. Resentment of another is like drinking poison and expecting another person to feel it!
10) Every day, ask yourself, what can I do which is loving to myself today?
Please remember that we are all trying to do the best that we can in any situation. Love and forgiveness really is the key! Please take the time to even do one of the exercises above - remember you are worth it.
Lisa Phillips is an experienced Life Coach and NLP Practitioner. She contributes to many successful magazines and her hugely popular DIY Coaching Manual reveals everything you need to know from achieving exciting goals, to identifying and releasing toxic emotions. http://www.amazingcoaching.com.au/diy-ebook.html