Feelings — joy, frustration, anger, freedom, boredom, and happiness — are wonderful, wacky, awful, exhilarating, and painful! They are the energy of expression, and we experience them throughout our bodies, perhaps as a clenching, a tingling, a tightening, or a sigh as we respond to their energy.

We have no clear rules about how to deal with our feelings. It’s OK to express some of them but not others. Women generally can express more feelings than men. Only certain feelings are acceptable within our families, our culture, and our workplaces. We may be afraid of our feelings because we don’t know what to do with them and afraid of what other people will think of us if we tell them how we really feel. There are so many unwritten rules about feelings that dealing with them can seem like a game we just can’t win.

So what are we to do? Become aware of our feelings? Learn what they tell us about our lives? Gain an understanding of their purpose? Get control of them? In fact, this is what we’ve been trying to do by “keeping the lid on,” suppressing, hiding, or shutting them down. It’s time to gain a new understanding of feelings as the energy of expression, the lifeblood of who we are.

To become aware of our feelings, we need to know that they always follow thought. Once we truly understand this, we can develop a new relationship with them. When we think of a lemon, we automatically salivate, and maybe even pucker; this is a physiological response. In the same way, every time we have a thought we have an emotional response. Our responses often are conditioned through our experiences and training. These emotional patterns are easily triggered.

When we believe that feelings come first, that they happen to us, then we are powerless and at their mercy. Road rage, domestic violence, people exploding at a salesclerk over having to wait a turn, and parents yelling at their kids in public exemplify out-of-control emotions. Had the people involved understood that they could choose which thoughts to focus on and thereby the feelings they experience, none of these events would have happened.

The thinking that promotes emotional distress comes from our patterns and programming; it comes out of stored past experience or fear. It’s the ingrained expectation of how things should be, the fear of being seen as a bad parent, the belief that we have to do all things and be all things beyond what’s humanly possible. This is computer-mode thinking, in which we frantically search our files of experience for answers to current situations, hoping for new outcomes. The computer mind holds no new answers; it can only offer a repeat performance.

When we’re seeking a new level of experience, we need to move to a new level of thinking. We need to shift to the transmitter mind, our natural brilliance. Everything we need to know to create more harmonious lives is available to us there. Our brilliance gives us understanding that leads to patience with other drivers on the road. It gives us insight that leads to seeing ourselves and others with acceptance. We can be at peace while waiting in long lines. We can be kindhearted and loving with our children even when we’re tired and stretched.

In any situation, we have access to a new understanding. We can stop for a moment, refocus our thinking, and relax into a new level of peace and well-being. By rethinking from our natural brilliance, we create harmonious feelings. By choosing a higher order of thinking, we choose happier lives. Our Brilliance is our connection to Source.

Lynne Hoft and Vivian Hildebrandt are Reality Upgraders. Contact them for coaching options at their website www.GotoSource.org. To reach Lynne or Vivian, click www.gotosource.org/get-help/. To sign up for weekly updates, visit our website.

Author's Bio: 

Vivian Hildebrandt enjoys helping others understand the core truth of who they are. She can help you to develop a new vocabulary for creating your authentic and creative expression in life. From her own experience, she will share time-tested techniques that can activate the changes you want, including how to shift your focus and expand your perspective about yourself and your life.

Vivian is grounded in Universal Love and is a dreamer of dreams, a mirror of souls, and a holder of visions of what can be. Through experience, her natural gifts have been developed into the strengths of deep listening and mutual communication. She is an advocate of hearty humor and lively laughter. Vivian has worked in the fields of Education, Addiction and Student Development. She has co-authored a number of books, led workshops and designed interactive learning experiences to assist others to develop the skills and insights needed to empower themselves and others.

Lynne Hoft, is a Brilliance Formula expert. She empowers others to live from their Brilliance. As a certified Master Universal Healer, Lynne provides techniques for clearing and maintaining your personal fields, which allows greater personal freedom.

Lynne is passionate about living her brilliance and is excited about what is working, dreaming big dreams, meeting new people, and having fun. She is focused on expanding consciousness and multidimensional beingness. Serving others and all of life is her calling. While working with young adults in the educational system, Lynne created a number of exceptional programs and curricula that facilitated self awareness and achievement. Lynne has co-authored several books and multiple articles. She has a PhD in Educational Leadership and a Master's Degree in Special Education.