Can you feel the energies bumping up against you? One minute, you feel pushed; the next minute, pulled. One minute, you’re ok, and the next minute, you’re not. It’s chaotic out there.
Our world is in flux; nothing feels normal anymore. Disasters are becoming way too familiar, and terra firma is not feeling so firm anymore. We have become unwitting surfers of ever-surprising shock waves of turmoil and disorder.
These energies of change are not just of the world. They are global as well as personal. The macrocosm and microcosm mirror one another. There is chaos on the outside and there is chaos on the inside as well.
These days, if I had that chart of faces that reflect every emotion, I would see the many faces of me. My sleep is restless and jagged or, occasionally, deep like an old dog. My moods ride a perpetual carousel, round and round, and I am feeling e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, unless, of course, I am numb.
Clearly, my life is not dull. And I am guessing, you would say the same about yours. We all have our own varieties of chaos, upheaval, and overwhelm to deal with, but, that said, we are all Earthlings in this together. We are all part of this grand evolutionary shift in consciousness that will takes us out of duality and lead us into the oneness of us all. And if that prior sentence is too much of the metaphysical for you, know this: we are changing, all of us, like it or not, and it is helpful to share the journey with one another.
Here is how I am reading the times and where I am placing my attention and energies as I make sense of these upside-down moments in my life. Perhaps, this might be helpful to you.
1. TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS
To quote the song, I am taking care of business. I am getting busy, focused, and not dilly-dallying anymore. I am putting my energy into planting all the seeds in my personal garden. I am letting go of what is no longer important or essential. I feel that the time is now and only now – and this is true for all of us.
So, in my case, I am attaching the seat of my pants to the seat of my desk chair and finishing my still-resonant projects. I am putting my energy into what sings to me. I also have come to realize that some of this unfinished business was because I needed more life experiences to expand my consciousness. It does all happen when it is supposed to – not a minute sooner or a minute later. My goal (which is entirely doable if I stay focused) is to be complete with this set of projects by year end. I have a sense that my seeds will not flower immediately, but I know it is something I must do – now.
2. LEARN THE LESSON: RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MASTER TEACHER
Relationships are the connective tissue of life. Be it friend, spouse, child, sibling, coworker, or neighbor, our lives are filled with relationships of varying dimensions, connections, and intensities. There is no escaping the fact; relationships are an integral part of life.
These weeks, I have been unusually steeped in relationship issues with clients, friends as well as myself. Everyone, it seems, is dealing with some kind of relationship issue.
For example, I had a major ex-love contact me recently. He was ready to reconnect and renew what once was. Do I choose to take care of his needs (and I am really good at that part) and back-burner some of my own or do I choose to get what I need by way of more whole and complete relationship? It has taken me a very long time to heal that wound. I told him I could not – and would not -- go backwards. My ex played his role very well, because I had a choice to make.
All relationships start with the self first. How do we learn to get our needs met, protect our boundaries, have personal time and space, be heard and honored, and still find time to be playful and juicy with one another?
Relationships both test and teach us. How do we wish to be treated? What is important to us? Do we know what we consider a non-negotiable? Can we walk in the other person’s shoes? Have we learned how to express ourselves without becoming a nut wielding a pointed finger or a threat? Lest we forget, we adults are all equals. Do we feel that way or have we abdicated our power to another?
From my perspective, every one of our respective core issues and wounds are presenting themselves front and center. We get a chance to re-do or choose anew. We are given an opportunity to heal and proceed forward. Are you ready?
So, heads up, my friends: relationships are master teachers and I am guessing there are one or two relationships in your life pulling for your attention.
3. BE FLEXIBLE; FOLLOW THE ENERGY
Yes, I know you have 1000 things to do, but wouldn’t you really rather do something you thought about in the shower this morning or on your walk or while you were driving to the market?
That’s what happened to me; the idea had me pumped; I was ready to do it now. And this time, I took action and headed straight to my desk and wrote was ping-ponging around my cranium. And it felt good; and it didn’t take all day. I did not complete the whole idea, but I did feed it and root it, so that I can return to nourish this bit of inspiration.
Surprisingly, this little exercise in following the flow of energy was a quick remedy. It made me happier; I felt more productive and that feeling of flow continued throughout the day. And there was more than enough time to tackle the “have-to’s” in my life.
When a flash of insights hits, consider taking action while it is still vibrating with potential and life-force. Perhaps you give yourself 20 minutes on your lunch hour to flesh out the idea or you head to the garden, kitchen, basement, or wherever after work and put your handprint on your idea. And wheeeee …you let yourself jump into the high energy, creative flow of your life. How fun is that?
4. DETACH FROM ATTACHMENTS
Oh, please, say it’s not so … I know, I know, but if we hold on mightily to those attachments that suck the living bone marrow out of our being and leave us spent and crumbled only to get up off the floor and do it all over again, we are never going to have the energy or mindset to remember who we are. (And remembering who we are is a major rung on the ladder of enlightenment, but more on that on another day.)
Attachments, in this sense, are habit patterns that have become unconscious and addictive; we cannot let go and continuously repeat – and re-entrench -- the pattern. Attachments can be in the form of relationships, belief systems, and maladaptive coping responses. We know, on some level, that the attachment is not good for us, but we hang on anyway. We cling to this way of being, the relationship, or the habit pattern until it becomes a noose around our neck. Attachments burrow deep into our psyches; we feel we can never, ever live without the attachment that ultimately becomes our ball and chain.
In essence, these types of attachments are unhealthy, habit forming, consciousness numbing, and life depleting. That gives me pause … For the record, I will be stepping away from truck loads of Twizzlers --even if they are the perfect, sweet, chewy, and can-tie-into-knots confectionary -- as my stress management technique.
5. UNEARTH YOUR SPARKLE
If you are not happy with you, who will be? We do not live in an age of shrinking violets; we live in an age of light. Each of us is a source of radiance, but where have we hidden our sparkle?
I know we are living in chaotic times, but here’s the deal: the more joy, zip, and sparkle we have in our lives, the better it is for all of us -- our families, our neighborhoods, and our planet.
So where did you bury your authentic, creative, passionate, outrageous, compassionate, and alive self? It’s time for an exhumation; it’s time to reclaim your radiance and up the amperage on your sparkle.
As for me, I am madly wiping clean all the crusted goo on my sparkle. I am feeling frisky, sassy, and happy as I prepare to unearth my sparkle. In fact, it just might be time to buy a new pair of sunglasses; there may well be a glare.
Adele Ryan McDowell, Ph.D., is the author of Balancing Act: Reflections, Meditations, and Coping Strategies for Today’s Fast-Paced Whirl and a contributing author to the best-selling anthology, 2012: Creating Your Own Shift. Her next book, Help, It’s Dark in Here, will be released in 2012. You can learn more about Adele and her thinking http://theheraldedpenguin.com.