Unhealthy relationships are defined as those that cause more harm than good to a person’s emotional, mental and psychological stability. Over time, people have found ways to cope with unhealthy relationships, and these ways either worked to improve the relationship or widen the gap between the partners. Do you know of a husband who just ignored his wife whenever she went into her daily diatribe about how he sucks as a partner, a father and a lover? That is one sure sign that sooner or later the unhealthy relationship will split him apart. There is absolutely no point in hoping she will take the hint and shut up or go away. This type of union, among the many kinds of unhealthy relationships, is the worst. It means the communication lines have eroded and you are left with just the shell of the happy marriage you once had.
Communication. Can you think of a girl’s reaction when someone tells her “You're great but I don't deserve you” or “It’s not you, it’s me”? She will be baffled, and resentful of the fact that you didn’t care about her enough to explain further. Some men find it impossible to tell the hurtful truth because they think the truth will hurt her. Women are not breakable, though they often go out of their way to make themselves seem breakable. Women are tougher than men think, and can handle the truth if said in a manner that will not insult nor belittle their intelligence.
Honesty will get you far. If you’re really dead set on fixing your unhealthy relationships with your family members, you must be completely honest about the whole situation. How hard is it to confess that you cheated because you are having trouble coping with all the responsibilities of being a father and a husband and you want an escape? Pretty difficult, but it would be an honest statement that your wife can accept. An honest statement puts the ball in her court, and will relieve you of the burden of lying every time they get close to the truth.
Set a few hours each day simply talking to your partner and family members when fixing unhealthy relationships, carefully trying to rebuild your relationship. Hold your tongue when she’s talking and let her talk when you’re done stating your case. Keep the conversation lively, and deal with each issue separately so that they aren’t jumbled all together in one big bowl of blame.
Respect of space, time and opinion is essential to keep the conversation healthy. Soon, you will see changes in the way you relate with the members of your family. You will realize that they have a lot of things to say to you and vice versa. Conversation bridges will start to form and never again will you talk without thinking of the other person’s feelings. There is a way of expressing hurt without shouting or name calling, and temper tantrums are mostly just temporary things that can be forgiven, if the other person trusts enough in your ability to bounce back to your old honest and pleasant self.
Cha~zay Sandhriel is a spiritual love coach helping singles prepare for their twin flames and couples figure out if they want to stay or part. With three near-death experiences she brings amazing spiritual gifts to her coaching sessions. To find out more about Cha~zay visit her love site at Blue Print 4 Love